As I have observed, we as people, maybe not you, but if the shoe fits. I have observed that we all look to find those of a certain “emotional intelligence.” Emotional intelligence is defined as: is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Key concept here, in my opinion, is that the management of emotions in a positive way. This I think is overlooked when observing our partners in different situations. Whether it be, an argument between another, or even how they react to a situation towards you. Actions are key indicators that we all tend to give off, like it or not, you can catch whether someone is the right fit for you in an instant. Daniel Goleman, (American Psychologist) popularized Emotional Intelligence with these 5 key elements-Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy, Social skills. Can only wonder how many relationships have ended off one night of drinking and you find your sugarplum doing a keg stand when you have been 5 years sober or never got into the drinking game. What is your emotional intelligence on that Danny!!! Sounds like Danny, so I ran with it. Or my favorite, you find out that he or she is cheating on you and you NEVER SAW IT COMING. Sure he has to work late 3 days a week. Sure she has been going out more than usual and that new boob job she is keeping from you is still healing after 6 months. In any sense, remember no matter what the situation, the dependency on your emotional intelligence is how you react to situations. Remember in a positive way, don’t buy that double barrel, or single action revolver just yet. Remember you ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. Writing to all of you I can only hope you choose to look at pain, lies and suffering in a way that really is better for you and your future. Emotional intelligence to me is an understanding between two individuals, based on the conversation and understandings they have presented to one another. Don’t care how long you both have been together, you’re individuals as much as your souls became one when you got married, or even if you’re still dating just remember it is called a soul mate, not a soul mending person. Hahaha ,and with a divorce rate 50% you better believe it is entirely possible that you have some more life to live before you find your someone special. Just look up any article and you will find out that the average age for marriage has been increased to 30s, and probably for a good reason considering half my High School Senior class was snatched up and divorced before 26. So who knew you might want to do stupid shit or fuck around just a little longer before you got married, had kids, bought a house and realized you were stuck. Not saying having a family is not a beautiful thing. When you didn’t want it that soon and think of what could have been for the next 10 years into your 30’s. Beautiful may not be the word you use right then. If currently in this predicament, well what’s great about today’s topic, makes things into positives. I will say having kids move out or go to college, and you’re not even 50 yet, sounds DOPE! Hell you can still get divorced, agree WE MADE IT, and just part ways amicably and go fuck around with 30 year olds. What? This is Bangov, not some Christian Blog Bullshit. I am getting side tracked though. Emotional intelligence, like regular intelligence, has to be developed over time and taught. The one you’re with is teaching you how to be with them and vice versa. Once you tend to enjoy each other’s company, everything will fall into place and you can start to check off those 5 elements I mentioned. That’s my 2 cents. Bangov Actual, out!
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