Tag: best women’s relationship help

We’re all trying to figure out life’s challenges. We call them challenges, but they are just choices. Kids, who we want to be and be with. You said so yourself you don’t need all the answers right now. Some of us must remember if there’s an answer we need, then don’t live in ignorance. Seek answers, and ask questions. Conversation shouldn’t be the fear. Decisions shouldn’t be either but ignorance is terrifying when we think about what might have been. When a friend is in need, be there. Maybe the gesture will be returned to you. Maybe not, only this way will you find out If the company you keep is the company you want.  I have always said I have the greatest friends in the world. It is because they constantly surprise me. We do not owe each other anything, we do not talk all the time, we don’t see each other all the time. I am far from them, but in the end they are always there. A constant reminder of those I have in my life. Knowing who they are answers so many questions that I need not ask them. They are forever images and hopes of a life where I could be with them always, but life’s ambitions keep me from them. I am a constant seeker, while those who choose to stay have found their bliss. A man in search of a vision(or woman) is that of relentless anxiety that if they stand still, they may be forgotten about. Waking up in a sea of decisions that needs to be made within the hour to make sure your day is more productive than the last. When the day is done, the dust has settled, I still see them, they are the calm, right before the storm starts again. May just answer some questions on why I encourage you as readers to open yourself up to others. People will hurt you, but it is part of the experience of finding those you will need to fight exceptionally more fierce battles. For those of you who have all the wrong ones around you. You’re better off alone if you choose to be better.

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There is just something about making breakfast in the morning. eggs , potatoes, maybe some grilled bacon or sausage. Is it the food or the action that sets the mood for peoples day. Throw in some morning sex and you that is the breakfast of champions. Fuck Cereal. Then again cereal does not nag you about the lawn not being mowed and the garage needing to be cleared out. Yes ladies, welcome to the mind of a man. When misery sets in we tend to remember the simple things in life. Food, working in the garage, which by the way garages go through fazes, and ladies if your shit is in there too, don’t be bitching at your man until all your bikes and pottery shit is out of the way. I invite all couples dealing with household duties into my world of simply taking pleasure in the project of cleaning. If cleaning is a recurring problem for you then just remember the act of doing something, like making breakfast. Simple acts of starting a task for some will inevitably create a motion to finish what was originally intended. Like a business..see what I did there. Putting things off like cleaning the garage may be your biggest problem right now, but what about when it is finished. Continuously we evolve based on the situation we are in. As soon as the garage is cleaned you will think, “I have so much room now, maybe a gym, maybe a studio for my music, whatever your heart desires.” With that being said a project in my experience has never been a finished piece when it comes to organizing your life. Starting with your garage, it is a series of evolution that need to take place. We see the garage as a daunting task that is looked down upon. Even if we finish we think we still won’t be happy with the result. With that negativity it is no wonder that people don’t make the time to do it. What is even weirder is that we have this place, or part of what is supposed to be our home that is daunting to think about. What next? The kitchen, unfinished bedroom? Getting these types of things put back into order is all part of the construction of creating a productive and efficient household. Thankfully I have been equipped with the OCD complex of not liking things to be too dirty before I start working. Hahaha I clean dishes before I start eating what I just cooked. When it comes to dinner though I will maybe have a glass of wine so it is really not that bad. As well it just has to feel unorganized for me to start throwing things away I do not need or wiping down the office table. In fact if I have to look at this stapler I haven’t used in 6 months the walls will start to bleed. Ok sorry, it’s in the drawer, but now I know it’s in the drawer so ill get rid of it later. My business is all online, why do I need a stapler. Ok rant over. Understand the projects that in life you don’t want to tackle right now are not going anywhere. I only hope that your home is a place that encourages more perspective, and gives you ideas that come from a positive attitude. Go clean that garage, build some shelves, get everything off the ground so for cleanup all you need is an air compressor or leaf blower. Also stop saying that one or the other should be doing things. We all need help sometimes, especially the garage when all of you use it. Make it a family thing and finish in a quarter of the time. Any job can feel daunting when you think you have to do it alone. Bangov Actual, out.

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Expectations are only that which are communicated to each other. Job, transaction, parenting, friendships, EVEN SEX, is a negotiated relationship between individuals. I know I have been consistent with relationships between others, but these relationships are very important. Think of creating anything with no help. A business, product, or service, anything you do in order to market yourself, your social skills must improve, saying hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, shaking hands looking them in the eye, genuine acts of benevolence. Benevolence is defined as:the quality of being well meaning; kindness. The more genuine you are, which is why I try to be as definitive in who I present to others, being myself. The more I have realized others willingness to engage and be inclusive in conceptualizing. Conceptualizing is defined as: form a concept or idea of something. Be mindful that people are always about “good vibes,” or about being involved with those who encourage growth in how they want to identify.

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I mean is it that hard? What does a woman want in a man? Well ya, actually it is. You gentlemen ask the question, what is that you want in a man. Now gentlemen, think of asking that question plus a few others. What does she want in a lover, in a fighter, in insert word here. The ideal question to ask a woman is multiple. Never leave it up to a one word answer. This in my opinion is why men make all the stupid mistakes in a relationship. Lack of knowledge of the individual, being that one you wish to console. Don’t overthink, it does not matter if you’re the man or woman. You’re instincts may even tell you not to pry but THAT’S THE POINT!!! I don’t mean to pressure anyone, but over a given amount of time I think people stop asking those they wish to have a relationship with general questions. By the way, general questions continue on for the rest of the time you’re together. They are pretty much just questions, but as you both get older, and the deeper you go, you may help in finding things out about yourself you didn’t know you liked or disliked. To ask a person about themselves that you have known for 5 min obviously is going to be different than that of a person you’ve known for 5 years. If someone asked me how I felt about 2 people who are in love or wanting to create it, why the inevitability of their relationship ending came down to a simple argument over curtain shades, I’d be like, “please don’t talk to me”….naa I’d probably engage in the conversation, but that is just my personality. Then again even meaningless conversation is a sign of a good relationship, in that you’re wanting to spend time with them. All meaningless conversation is a door to a deeper conversation, you just have to start somewhere. New questions to ask, new insight In to your partner’s mind can all stem from, “do you like pizza?” Or 5 years from then, “do you like these curtains, or this?” Some of you have caught on. Almost like carving out a different perspective of the person with how you have molded each question. Also rest assured the person you’re so crazy about and hopefully is still crazy about you, does not care how the question was asked, just simply that you asked means something. Nobody has all the right words at the right time, so while you may just be thinking about how you should ask a question, or even say something, just blurt it out and both of you can starts to decode the message that was intended because you’re going to be doing that the entire conversation anyway. Dig, Dig, Dig. When it comes to what men and women want in each other it is still solely that they want each other. Two established individuals that solely want one another is a very powerful thing. Nothing that I have seen has been able to come in between that, throw any stereotype you’d like at them, but those 2 that have found that comfort and that familiarity are very likely to stay with each other. For how long, who fucking knows? Ladies if you told a man that you wanted someone honorable, fair and ethical, men cannot compute that. It is too broad of terms. Honorable traits can be determined by how ethical a man is. Also life is not fair, so don’t expect a man or woman who knows what he is worth to settle for less than what he or she thinks they can have. Best advice I have ever heard is work on yourself and compete to be better. Compete everyday for the man or woman you want, and you may just surpass what you would have settled for a year ago. Bangov Actual, out

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As I have observed, we as people, maybe not you, but if the shoe fits. I have observed that we all look to find those of a certain “emotional intelligence.” Emotional intelligence is defined as: is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Key concept here, in my opinion, is that the management of emotions in a positive way. This I think is overlooked when observing our partners in different situations. Whether it be, an argument between another, or even how they react to a situation towards you. Actions are key indicators that we all tend to give off, like it or not, you can catch whether someone is the right fit for you in an instant. Daniel Goleman, (American Psychologist) popularized Emotional Intelligence with these 5 key elements-Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy, Social skills. Can only wonder how many relationships have ended off one night of drinking and you find your sugarplum doing a keg stand when you have been 5 years sober or never got into the drinking game. What is your emotional intelligence on that Danny!!! Sounds like Danny, so I ran with it. Or my favorite, you find out that he or she is cheating on you and you NEVER SAW IT COMING. Sure he has to work late 3 days a week. Sure she has been going out more than usual and that new boob job she is keeping from you is still healing after 6 months. In any sense, remember no matter what the situation, the dependency on your emotional intelligence is how you react to situations. Remember in a positive way, don’t buy that double barrel, or single action revolver just yet. Remember you ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. Writing to all of you I can only hope you choose to look at pain, lies and suffering in a way that really is better for you and your future. Emotional intelligence to me is an understanding between two individuals, based on the conversation and understandings they have presented to one another. Don’t care how long you both have been together, you’re individuals as much as your souls became one when you got married, or even if you’re still dating just remember it is called a soul mate, not a soul mending person. Hahaha ,and with a divorce rate 50% you better believe it is entirely possible that you have some more life to live before you find your someone special. Just look up any article and you will find out that the average age for marriage has been increased to 30s, and probably for a good reason considering half my High School Senior class was snatched up and divorced before 26. So who knew you might want to do stupid shit or fuck around just a little longer before you got married, had kids, bought a house and realized you were stuck. Not saying having a family is not a beautiful thing. When you didn’t want it that soon and think of what could have been for the next 10 years into your 30’s. Beautiful may not be the word you use right then. If currently in this predicament, well what’s great about today’s topic, makes things into positives. I will say having kids move out or go to college, and you’re not even 50 yet, sounds DOPE! Hell you can still get divorced, agree WE MADE IT, and just part ways amicably and go fuck around with 30 year olds. What? This is Bangov, not some Christian Blog Bullshit. I am getting side tracked though. Emotional intelligence, like regular intelligence, has to be developed over time and taught. The one you’re with is teaching you how to be with them and vice versa. Once you tend to enjoy each other’s company, everything will fall into place and you can start to check off those 5 elements I mentioned. That’s my 2 cents. Bangov Actual, out!

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