Pretending who we need to be, to get where we want. To me everything is salesmanship. Only difference is I am not forcing customers to buy anything they don’t actually need. Bangov is not to take up space in your home, but it is for you to take with you everywhere you go. Confidence is defined as: full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing, or belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: Bangov is for you to take along your journey of taking risks, daydreaming. Being confident in yourself when you need the strength to move forward. The belief you have in yourself of course will come with time. I didn’t create Bangov in a day, week or year. It has been my life’s work, a constant fear of never having enough money to do the things I wish, living the life I wanted. Never taking risks on love, thinking I have to be at a point in my life in order to live my life. Sometimes it is good to pretend. It helps us solidify the dreams in our heads and realize that the distance between having a dream and living one are only a couple decisions away. For the ladies maybe a dress you can’t afford, makeup and hair done, and OF COURSE let’s not forget about the shoes. For my gentlemen, nice suit, watch, haircut and shave. To treat yourself with things you wouldn’t usually have is just putting on a face of who you are inside. Problem is people usually retreat back to those whom they think they have to be to please others. Or worse, they don’t try to hold on to the dream for as long as possible. Believe me I understand having to make sacrifices in order to get to where you want to be. That does not mean the dream may stay the same. Dreams are evolving with time and experiences. Like a blank canvas you wake up to every morning. Just pick up the brush and start painting and see what comes of your motion. Have confidence in yourself, whatever face you choose to put on, brave face, tired face, angry face and trust yourself that you can keep going. When it has been a hard day, I quietly whisper to myself, Bangov. To me Bangov is something for all to hold on to when you need an anchor. Something when your mind is lost, you need something to ground yourself to. When you’re afraid of floating away, being forgotten, Bangov will always be there. As I am continually trying to make Bangov more accessible to others, through blogs, social media, some day an app which I am tirelessly trying to figure that shit out. I whisper because it is what I wake up thinking about, and what makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night. My hope is for all who read, that you will find your Bangov one day. To dream is such a beautiful thing, and to be lost in your dream is just another way to say you’ve made it a reality.
The Fear Of Love
Love is a very daunting task to me. Daunting is defined as: causing fear or discouragement; intimidating. Most of us have felt the feeling. High school sweetheart, summer fling, or maybe even a friend you just couldn’t help but push away anymore. We have love, and lost, then lost the love. Like most things that are worthwhile, they take time. That is the only way we know that they are worth the effort. Anything that takes away time from something else is what our focus is on. I focus on many things that I probably shouldn’t. Love is not one of them as I spend all my waking hours writing to you, so it’s no wonder why I am still single. Or hell at least always at arms length with marriage and what it means to me. That all being said, one thing is clear to me, that when I graduated high school, the world had just ended, so to speak. Then when I got out of the military it ended again. You think after all I have written about positivity I would have looked at it in a different light, but that would not be honest to my readers. As I was young, my cynicism grew and grew…and grew. Thing about cynicism(cynical) which is defined as: distrusting or disparaging the motives of others. What I have realized is the relationship between love and fear. When you lose someone, a relationship, or they just are not around anymore. Fear is no longer a reasonable emotion. They are already gone. We fear losing them, we fear the day they may not be there, or the experiences we may not get to have with them. Fear is what keeps people together or apart. Fear is defined as: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Remember fear is just as real as you imagine it to be. So whatever your fears, focus on who and what you want in life and the rest of those fears will pass with time. I have had the pleasure of seeing beauty in the eyes of someone sleeping next to you. You want to tell me something that makes you afraid, pshss try waking and staring at someone when they are at their most vulnerable. As they sleep and hair in their face, a slight bit of drool creeping out of the corner of their mouth, and you put a blanket over them because you felt a slight chill and you’re no longer next to them keeping them warm. You ask “why didn’t he stay in bed with her?” I was making breakfast bitch! It was a Thursday and we got work to do, so don’t give me any shit. So my question to you is do we hold on in fear of them being gone? If you have ready anything previous to this you know I am a huge proponent of choice. That is because it eliminates false senses of security that we have woven into our society’s willingness to comply with the decisions of the masses. In my experience giving someone the choice to make their own decisions, may not always give you what you want, but both parties end up finding peace they can live with. Love should no longer be the goal, it is merely the byproduct of making the decision to be with someone above all because we truly do want them. Then years down the road when time has been invested in the relationship, you will know the fear of losing them will be for the right person. Not just because you are controlled by fear. Bangov Actual, out.
Friends Are Always There
We’re all trying to figure out life’s challenges. We call them challenges, but they are just choices. Kids, who we want to be and be with. You said so yourself you don’t need all the answers right now. Some of us must remember if there’s an answer we need, then don’t live in ignorance. Seek answers, and ask questions. Conversation shouldn’t be the fear. Decisions shouldn’t be either but ignorance is terrifying when we think about what might have been. When a friend is in need, be there. Maybe the gesture will be returned to you. Maybe not, only this way will you find out If the company you keep is the company you want. I have always said I have the greatest friends in the world. It is because they constantly surprise me. We do not owe each other anything, we do not talk all the time, we don’t see each other all the time. I am far from them, but in the end they are always there. A constant reminder of those I have in my life. Knowing who they are answers so many questions that I need not ask them. They are forever images and hopes of a life where I could be with them always, but life’s ambitions keep me from them. I am a constant seeker, while those who choose to stay have found their bliss. A man in search of a vision(or woman) is that of relentless anxiety that if they stand still, they may be forgotten about. Waking up in a sea of decisions that needs to be made within the hour to make sure your day is more productive than the last. When the day is done, the dust has settled, I still see them, they are the calm, right before the storm starts again. May just answer some questions on why I encourage you as readers to open yourself up to others. People will hurt you, but it is part of the experience of finding those you will need to fight exceptionally more fierce battles. For those of you who have all the wrong ones around you. You’re better off alone if you choose to be better.
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Live In Fear, You May End Up Liking It
What is it people want at the gym? Well what do you want? Then go to every other person at the gym and ask what they want. How many different answers do you think you will get? People go to the gym, grocery store, and the same schools. We all have a choice in life to be where everyone else is. This is someone you admire, or even think you would like to have their life for a day. You think it’s so great, grass is greener on the other side kind of bullshit. You know everything about them. Where they live, job, what kind of dog they have, you are them for a day and in the end you’re still not happy because you haven’t really been able to choose anything for yourself. We idolize others for what they have done, what they have and even what you want to have. Well tough, guess what they have put in the work and you have not. Stop comparing yourself to others that are more “successful” than you. Success and fame are interesting concepts, when you think, success is defined as: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose, fame on the other hand is defined as: the state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements. So who gets to decide notable achievements? As well not everyone likes who you like, nobody is held to the same standard as everyone else because nobody knows who everyone is. This may seem like a ramble but if you continuously chase the by-product of fame, that means skipping hard work in order to achieve success, you will always be one that has dreams, but never does anything to achieve them. Stuck in limbo, daydreaming and building a fake persona of who you are based on what you feel and not by what you’ve done. I’m not saying don’t dream, dream all you can, but you must have a plan of action or at least get wheels in motion. Having a dream and chasing them are very different feelings. Investing time and money will be one of many challenges, but the start is probably your most important. To persist, I can only tell you what I have done to keep going is find something you believe in hard enough, doubts will come so frequent, it will be like being numb all the time. Doubts are a part of our innate being to not make bold or take risks. Then again, what kind of life has that been in the past? Bangov Actual, out.
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Work All You Can
Expectations are only that which are communicated to each other. Job, transaction, parenting, friendships, EVEN SEX, is a negotiated relationship between individuals. I know I have been consistent with relationships between others, but these relationships are very important. Think of creating anything with no help. A business, product, or service, anything you do in order to market yourself, your social skills must improve, saying hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, shaking hands looking them in the eye, genuine acts of benevolence. Benevolence is defined as:the quality of being well meaning; kindness. The more genuine you are, which is why I try to be as definitive in who I present to others, being myself. The more I have realized others willingness to engage and be inclusive in conceptualizing. Conceptualizing is defined as: form a concept or idea of something. Be mindful that people are always about “good vibes,” or about being involved with those who encourage growth in how they want to identify. Don’t worry always about liking everyone, sometimes you may just need to be colleagues in order to get the job done. I remember through all my past jobs, those I worked best with were those whose sole focus was the job. Nothing more, they just wanted to do their work and go home. For as long as I can remember work has been the pass time off everything. Work, then rest, work then pray, work then eat, work then, eat, drink or sleep. Work is the inevitability that we must all get used to. Work as well is what we as people do in order to enjoy what has been gained from work. Those who choose to not work and think that they deserve more than those who do are entitled and these words are not for you. Bangov, is for those who work, like to work and instill work ethic in their children. Work is my life’s work and I can only hope that I can inspire those who read to make the changes necessary in order for your plans to come to fruition. Bangov Actual, out.
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Bangov Is Ever Evolving
What is Bangov? I could say it is an evolutionary standpoint that binds us all who invite themselves into the consciousness that they deserve better and want more out of life before they leave this world. Not to just be facetious, but I am not going to do that because it sounds dumb. As much as I would like to throw a bunch of words at you to sound intelligent, maybe some of you will even know what I am talking about. From a point of learning and going to others for what they are proficient in, I always like to begin telling them I KNOW NOTHING. When someone is willing to teach, in my opinion I have always been expressive in saying that I know little to nothing about what they are intending to say. Even in an applicable fashion, such as learning a skill or trade. Everyone has their way of doing things. All based on their interpretations of what was being taught to them is what they are passing on to you. If there are a million ways to skin a cat then, don’t waste time asking a million people how to do something. Ask one person, then ask another, and another, bend, tweak, and even create your own style of whatever art form you are trying to perfect. Be aggressive, yet open in your retention of knowledge. Listen, learn, interpret and ask yourself if you’re willing to commit action and devote your time. If not, be appreciative of the knowledge you have gathered and move on with your search for a pursuit. Bangov is consistent in what world it seeks to create, Bangov is not finite, nothing is 100%. Constant changes are made, always under scrutiny in order to adapt to any and all situations. All who read and share these blogs and the idea of what Bangov means to them, is all part of minor adjustments being made. It is easy to find a name. I write blogs every day, not too hard to find one word to embody the behavioral code which speaks to a large majority of people who want to feel like they have some sort of control over how they live their lives. (I am kidding obviously). Bangov is and will always be Ever Evolving. Bangov Actual, out.
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Accountability
Accountability of one’s self may be the most important thing you learn how to manage. Discipline is defined as: the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience. I am not too sure I like this word. I’m not trying to get you to obey anything, as well as a code only you have set for yourself. Discipline I know has been overused by so many that it has lost its meaning. My goal for myself is to remain accountable for remembering what my goals are. Accountable is defined as: required or expected to justify actions or decisions; responsible. This to me feels less forceful for the individual. Not everyone will punish themselves when they do something against the original intentions they have set for themselves. Changing one word, we change the language and the intention. I don’t want you to punish yourself when you do something that is not conducive to your life’s ambitions. I am more interested in the things that get you to do them because you genuinely want to see the results. Kick and scream all you like. Someone telling me I have to kick myself for not conforming to what someone else is telling me to do when I am not even telling myself. You basically just have a person who uses you to see the outcome. Whether it works or not. Incentives work because they get you to do things that may seem hard to do at your own will. Being accountable for yourself and your actions leaves nobody at fault but yourself. Obedience is defined as: compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to authority. These words require actions I am not encouraging myself to go through with. Laws, compliance, submission to authority, Bangov has no authority over you because you encourage its presence from reading. Bangov only exists as it is welcomed. It is not forced upon you, no law requires you to read it, it is strictly sought out for a different perspective. I hope for myself and others a better life is expected through the pursuit of the individual, and will be met by those who truly find what they want and need to be happy. I am accountable for my actions, it is not by law, or fear of punishment that I am accountable. It is through the pursuit of a better life for all. I know what you’re all thinking, “what about responsibility?”…Responsibility is defined as: the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone…I am not trying to control anyone or anything. This is Bangov for fuck sake. I’m just trying to get you to think outside of societal norms. That is the real brainwash if you ask me. Being OK, or even celebrating mediocrity. Bangov is and always will be a place for perspective…and while we are adding to the list, Perspective is defined as: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. Define your lives in what you choose to pursue. Focus on what you’re trying to say, hell say anything and decode from there. Bangov Actual, out.
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