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Why Do We Cheat?

Why do we cheat? This may get “confrontational” but hey you come to me for this shit. Don’t like it, I hear Chicken Soup For The Soul is making a comeback. Why do we cheat is maybe not what we think it is. I can really only think of cheating as piss poor planning. I don’t mean getting away with it either. If you make a commitment to someone then it should be honored as your word should be something to value. In the case that you explain to someone you choose to be intimate with I can only think that there has to be a conversation about what each of you want. When it comes to sex, emotions rule the playing field. Say anything you want, tell someone in the most abrupt way that you like sex and your too young to stop at just one person for the rest of your life. I’m not saying to lie, I am not saying to be hurtful in the slightest. Will it hurt, of course, that is what relationships are about. Experiencing all emotions with another. Everyone I know has been hurt in some form or fashion by their significant other.

Does not mean that it is intentional for either party to be hurtful towards each other. In my opinion all of these things are what get lost, or not said in conversation. I have stated before, nobody has all the right words at the right time. What is not communicated can be the cause of someone’s pain. Even the slightest of misunderstandings, you have a guy that is shaking his head and a woman who Is choosing to sleep with the kids, instead of in the bed with you. I think men and women have been so ingrained with the idea that they must be in a relationship that they are scared to face the reality of what they want, what they desire, and what they would even like to experience from a multitude of people. S.E.X, the great equalizer in the bedroom. The Fully Semi Automatic Weapon of lust. The cause of laughs, cries, fights, and an exponential growth in population size. Sex can cover so many basis and I as your blogger am in hopes of covering them all so that we as a civilization can come to understand more and more about this 3 letter word that in my is so powerful I am surprised that the government has not found a way to tax every orgasm we have. Terrible imagery? You’re welcome.

Why is it we as a species have not expressed the idea that communicated our sexual desires and ambitions is OK? What is wrong with that? Of course let’s not be weird about it. If I am on a date I won’t be so forward as to say to a woman that I just want you to ride my face until geese fly south for the winter. Would some women be up for that? I have always been told it depends on how good looking he is and how he presents the proposition. Fair enough ladies. Understand this, hookers do exist and till the end of time their services will be needed for men and women. As well I am being told male escorts are on the rise( pun intended). So that being said, for those of us who cannot afford it, why are we so inclined to condemn a man or woman who wants promiscuity in their life. These may be people who have had bad sexual experiences and feel paying for a professional is the only way to break the anxiety of being intimate with another person. Or someone who is very career driven, and in no mood to waste time on someone who does not know how to satisfy needs. Why we cheat is the blatant disregard for our own feelings and thoughts on what we want our sex life to entail. Do not be afraid to discuss intentions with those you go on dates with. Don’t hide in the dark, don’t be judgemental of yourself for wanting to be with multiple partners.

You cannot tell me a man or woman has not thought of someone other than their spouse. For good reason is the lack of fear that person will leave you for someone else. Women spend outrageous amounts of money on themselves, ie.. makeup, clothes, shoes, plastic surgery. When a woman is willing to undergo surgery for a man, it is because of a little known fear that she has that if I don’t get these for him to play with then maybe he’ll play with someone else. Please understand I am not judging anyone who chooses to make adjustments to their body in order to boost self confidence. Your bodies, do what you will. I’ll admit if I see a brat doll, with double d’s and an ass that could have saved everyone on the Titanic, I get a chuckle out of it. Sexual frustration is a daunting thing to have to go to. If you are not getting enough from your partner and feel stuck because you already told them you were wanting to be exclusive because that is what you thought they wanted to hear. It is time to have another conversation. Don’t just run to the first waitress or bartender you find on a Friday night, RELAX, talk about it first. If they can’t understand that this is a real issue for you, then cheating is inevitable. Just talk with your partner, don’t be afraid of them saying no. Also divorce is a bitch, not saying I have experienced it, but I have had enough people in my life to be completely turned off by the institution that is marriage.

Also if I haven’t mentioned this before marriage is defined as: the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, as well union for more clarification is defined as: the action or fact of joining or being joined, especially in a political context. Of course as well I know can be defined as: a state of harmony or agreement. BUT..  I cannot ignore the fact that it is only made official through the state, and needing a license to say I love, cherish, or want to spend the rest of my life with them is just hysterical. Why not just spend the rest of your life with them and those who you apparently need approval from will just see that? Also I do own a site called Bangov, so ya. #bangov4life. So just remember that you are not the only one feeling this way, go into a relationship knowing each other’s intentions and do not be afraid to communicate how to go about it. That is why I say to email me. I do enjoy getting them, of course they are anonymous, and as always this is Bangov Actual, I live to serve. Bangov Actual, OUT!

Email Me: info@ban-gov.com Please email me through your own email. DO NOT go through the website, under construction, and my team is on it.

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Bottle Water For A Dollar

People still tend to surprise me, pay attention to those around you, no matter how small of an interaction is meant to happen, they may even inspire you. Can’t tell you how many times I have come from those I have gotten negative experiences from. Either rude, or just aggressive individuals. It is all just a rush of chemicals to the brain that may trigger different responses and give you new ideas. Positive interactions are great, but it is the negative ones that people tend to need help with. They either shut down, or don’t see a learning experience in the situation they are in just because they are mad, sad, frustrated. Still your responsibility as an adult to utilize every situation as a learning environment. People in my life, long term or short consistently give me a different insight into the world I live in. Giving me new ambition to see different parts of the world and gain an insight that may be lost on the majority of people that are not looking. We tend to confuse people as complicated. Societies are complex of course. We have seen what damage can be done just by simple misunderstandings. Only takes an individual to initiate a mob mentality. I hope to inspire people to take control of their own lives. It is how they react to a push back will define if they are to go the distance in order to make their lives worth something other than what has been deemed “right” or “normal.” Some are in it just to survive and I can’t blame them. It has been taught since the beginning of man, and I am not saying to go against that. I will say incorporate your dreams so that in the end you can say you flourished, not just existed. Of course even existence can be taken for granted. Breath, build, fuck, and fight all you wish. When that big ball of rock hurling towards us finally decimates, or when the sun blows up. what will be the next? Continue the same disputes that have occurred time and time again? Always was interesting to me how when you graduated high school there was an understanding that the past quarrels, or grudges that had kept two people apart were now laid to rest. So why don’t we have that now? After 30? Maybe 50? I mean grudges held for hundreds of years between groups of people, I mean hit the snooze button or wake me when you guys build a bridge and get the fuck over it. These continuous wars that never seem to end give me the impression that they need to continue in order for someone to keep getting paid? Government? Religious leaders? Who knows? Just know it is not a war I am interested in fighting. All this inspiration may or may not have come from a homeless guy wearing military camo, trying to sell me a bottle of water. Poetic, I know. Bangov Actual, out.

Email Me: Do not go through the site, under construction. Info@ban-gov.com

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Still Of The Water

Reflection of past blogs, always good to reflect on past blogs to see how you have changed. All this bullshit of people being ridiculed for things they said 10 years ago. How about we ask today what the person thinks of these same scenarios. Not as if I am going to be the one to care. Say anything you want to about any group of people. Does not bother me any. Even if they were talking about me, it still wouldn’t bother me. I’m always told by people saying I have to care about other people’s feelings. Why!!! Why Is my opinion of any importance to those I do not know or have never even met. Seems as if a part of society thinks anyone who does not agree with you is a racist, or evil, or ignorant. To reflect is to see what has been said and how your perspective has changed with age and more wisdom. It is OK, you may have said some crazy shit when you were younger. That is OK. May have offended people, but that is all subjective. Understand that what you are trying to bring to the table is that people are either too afraid they will be ridiculed. To reflect is defined as: think deeply or carefully about. Think of all that has been said without proper reflection. Can’t tell me anyone who has a following has not said some dumb shit and regretted it. Whether they choose to commit to what they have said is up to them. Maybe they are catering to a specific pressure of a specific audience. You know like politicians always do to get votes. You either stand by what you said or maybe you’ve seen a different side of things. What was said was said, and words are cheap. Your actions on those words will show your intent and that is what I really look at when judging others. Bangov Actual, out.

Side note: For the time being, emails on the Bangov Site will need to be done through your personal email. Please send all questions, comments, moans, groans, bitches and complaints to info@ban-gov.com.

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Pro Tip: Restraining Orders Don’t Work Against Psychos

Why do we stay? Why do we endure those we have told ourselves not to go back to for certain reasons. He’s too short, not ambitious enough. We don’t communicate well, she’s erratic, and doesn’t get along with my family. Even when you are convinced you have found something about someone that will end the tie, and you will be able to finally break away. As those in a relationship, no matter if the relationship ends on good or bad terms, we all remind ourselves of the consequences of not associating with people we used to. Relationship, for 10 months or 10 years that person was a part of your life and you shared aspects of your life that you hoped they would understand. Your parents met them, your friends and you invited them into your life as an addition. Not sure if anyone I have met has ever gotten into a relationship in order to push someone else away. Maybe a ploy between the both of you to show your ex you’ve moved on so they stop eyeballing you in the bar, sure I get that. Those types of rouses are fine for about as long as it takes the guy or girl to back off. Whether they do or not is another blog entirely. Restraining orders are issued and just not a fun situation. Now aside from that dark situation. Those who can’t seem to break the cycle of letting this person into your life are in my opinion trapped or unaware. It’s not someone physically holding you down, but trapped is defined as: induce (someone), by means of trickery or deception, to do something they would not otherwise want to do. This also is just 1 of 2 situations I am trying to communicate. As well I am not trying to demonize anyone here. Emotions for one another are hard to control and everyone can react differently to the same chemicals telling us we want to be with that person. I look at it from the perspective of if one is intentionally trying to trick, or play mind games in order to coerce the other into being in that relationship. I have said before everything is about salesmanship. May just have fallen for a really good salesman. Sell yourself, you can sell anything, the first rule of sales I learned. The fault of going back to that person over and over again eventually becomes yours, but no matter who’s fault it is, it is still up to you to make the decision on if you would like to continue giving this person a part of your life. You may feel trapped in the web of familiarity, god sex and promises that were made prior before the relationship becoming confusing and turned to shit. Talked to couples that have been together for 10, 20 or even 30 years. They have all gone through some shit, and may even still be dealing with things. Relationships are a constant project, but when it comes time for it to end it is important for us to realize that it ending does not mean that it is over forever. Unless he or she was a terrible person, abusive. Look at it in a way where you’re still learning about you and what you want. Ever heard the story where the guy went back to his ex-wife? Ladies right now are shaking their heads.

 

The 2nd situation I want to refer to is that of 2 people in my opinion who are just unaware. Unaware is defined as: having no knowledge of a situation or fact. So you have 2 people that are unaware of the damage they may even be doing to each other. These I communicate more towards my younger audience, or your first real relationship. Without being aware of the damage we may be doing to someone else, we are also doing it to ourselves. Someone who can only remember the pain caused by you while you keep them “on the back burner” so I have heard others explain it to me. Of course some people will need to learn the hard way, just their nature and I ADMIT IT, I am one of them. I am 30, not married, and I have not yet “found the one”, or am too “into my career” right now”, or I am “ just having fun right now.” Not that these are lies. If you are not wanting to commit to someone then DON’T. With that being said, I revert back to my point, which is through the back and forth you really take the time to think and maybe notice the damage that you may be doing to a person that you can’t let go. Not letting them experience someone new for themselves just because it may be hurtful to you. It’s called heartbreak for a reason. Hurts for both parties, just not everyone reacts the same. For those of you trapped, or unaware, treat it as a situation that you need to get out of, or even a dangerous situation, because it is YOUR LIFE. Time being wasted on someone who can’t let go. If you have to move, or even simply just stop answering their calls for a little while till you are able to give yourself some clarity. Bangov Actual, out.

 

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Unfuck Yourself, No Excuses

I’m just a guy who had a vision. Between covid, politics, and everyday struggles. I knew solutions were not within government hands. Didn’t matter who the president was, it did not matter if everyone was vaccinated, it did not matter how many government assistance programs were available until people started to realize that the keys to their happiness had everything to do with how they represented themselves as individuals. Even if you are married, you are still an individual. Maybe you’re with the wrong one. Maybe you were someone when you got married. Who you want to be is still in there and maybe it conflicts with the person you chose. As an individual I am constantly struggling trying to bring something alive in me. I am sure everyone else is struggling as well. Choices are hard. Interestingly enough it is not hard for a lot of people to make a decision, like get a shit job, and be paid a shit salary. So let us look at it in a different perspective. What if we are to see it as a job where you hate your job, but make a lot of money. Money doesn’t become a reason for doing something. Then to see it as the opposite. You love your job, but don’t make a lot of money. So you have to make the choice to yourself of what is most important to you? Loving your job or making that money? Decisions you make must be looked at from 2 or more angles in order to determine what is important to you, and what road to take. Of many, you must be honest with yourself. Is money important to you? If so then you must do something, or be able to create something that maybe you can have a bit of both. See where your compromises are and focus on those. Compromise is defined as: an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. Gotta ask both of yourselves. The dreamer, and the realist, where you both are going to meet in the middle. Just know this is one of those lifetime commitments. Doesn’t matter how rich, how old, decisions will haunt you till the end of time so suck it up buttercup, figure your life out. Maybe put down that heroin needle, or not, I personally don’t care. If you’re still a functioning member of society then good for you. For those of you who don’t have an addiction and you’re still a piece of shit then well you need to unfuck yourself. Just remember all those celebrities, rock stars, government officials, who so eloquently like to enforce or create laws. All of these kinds of people are rich or successful and they do drugs. Hell if we as a people elect officials who are child molesters, I mean  COME ON, literally nobody is standing in your way of you making your own decisions in life. Trust yourself to decide your reality. Just remember to keep your friends close, and your kids away from politicians. Bangov Actual, out.

Email Me: info@ban-gov.com

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Nobody Has The Right Answer

If I told you to write a book to tell someone how to succeed, would you tell someone what not to do, or would you tell them how to do it? I can’t imagine those who are successful. The billionaires of our time and what does it mean for them to write a book on success? Success is defined as: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. How bout a book written about accomplishment, which is defined as: something that has been achieved successfully. How about legacy, which is defined as: an amount of money or property left to someone in a will. We see just by the definition of a word that things can be misconstrued or even left out entirely. For a very long time I have always asked those who have taught me different tasks. How? How? How? like the equivalency of those you with kids when they get to the Why? Why Why age. A child doesn’t commit to action until it knows why it has to do something. Why you shouldn’t say mean things. Cross the street without looking. Most adults think they know or can rationalize in their mind the why so they stop asking unless they are afraid, confused or don’t agree with the morality. As an adult it is all about asking how. How do I do this, or that? How do I become rich? How do I become successful? Immediately as adults the defeat that has kept up the standard for societal norms we rationalize in our own mind. This becomes important later in life. As a child we are smart enough to ask why we do something, and also instinctively challenge what we are told. As we age and think we have “matured” into adults we are brainwashed into thinking we have to live, eat, sleep, drink and fuck the way that society has done it the past generation. This leads to slow growth and continued poverty. How do I become something I am not? Why do I become something I am not? Like asking why would I want to make more money than I do now? Why, why, why? Be 5 years old again and give it a shot. I have heard many reasons you should not have more money or things that you want. Greed is bad, money is murder, more money more problems, Greed is the route of all evil, I don’t need money to be happy, money is not everything, or my favorite rich people are usually unhappy. What people tend to forget is money is not the objective. Listen to any millionaire/billionaire talk, they never give a specific dollar amount on what would make them happy. They do what they want and what they are passionate about in this life. I have said it before, if you are lazy or don’t care about getting the most out of life, then this is probably not the community for you. Most of the problem stems from when people get the answers of how and why then are too lazy or lose ambition the second they hear a solution. We must continue the why in how we live in order to fix what is broken, or just build new. Success, accomplishments, or whatever word you want to use to make yourself feel good about what you have done is going to take commitment. For some of you, depending on what you’re chasing, or how much money you’re chasing, it may take the rest of your life. That alone scares people into never trying. They are afraid of failure so they won’t even begin to try. Failure is not an option, it is inevitable, so you might as well start now in order to find out where you succeed. Everyone has their version of what it means so get off your ass and find your version. Bangov Actual, out.

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Familiarity, Good Or Bad?

Relationships are hard. No shit statement of the year right? Well, what about it is hard? As well to break that statement down. Hard is defined as: solid, firm, and rigid; not easily broken, bent, or pierced. We say this to ourselves as well as others who may be going through things we have already been through. Problem with this is we confuse even ourselves with the language we choose to describe the “hard” problems that we may encounter when wanting to share intimacy with another person. Intimacy is defined as: close familiarity or friendship; closeness. Which in my experience is what hurts the most when a relationship comes to an end. The familiarity of someone that was once close and close for a long time. When it is over, a part of you seems like it is missing. Constant reminders of what you used to be together. Whether the relationship ended on good or bad terms, familiarity is something that when broken. It is partly ingrained into our subconscious. Creeps, and makes its way into our everyday life and weaves a web that is just below the surface of the skin. Can tug on heartstrings at times. We have all heard that wounds heal but scars remain. I have plenty of scars and they have never kept me from feeling something for another. They definitely have set another standard for the next person I choose to create familiarity with. Relationship is defined as: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. We just discussed familiarity, so why is it that when people have established they are in a relationship and it goes wrong why have I heard from others that they feel trapped? Trapped in what, you’re in a relationship, not in jail. You have no legal or moral obligation to anyone who gives you a feeling of entrapment. Familiarity can be both good and bad. Just depends on who you choose as your partner and how long you’re willing to stay. I won’t pretend to know what someone has gone through being in a bad relationship. I have been fortunate enough to be around some pretty incredible people in my life and those who seemed to be dead weight I dropped or just don’t care for their opinion, because FUCK EM! Or just realized some were going off in a different direction. Only thing I can offer to communicate is that I do know what it feels like to be trapped. Not knowing where to go, what to do with yourself and wanting something more. Changes will always have to be made and will always need to be made with the intention of doing things for yourself. If you are not enough incentive, then maybe your kids, or whoever in your life is maybe dependent on you. People I have met that have not only been through rough relationships, I am happy to say you couldn’t tell given they have a heart of gold and it has not stopped them in achieving great things as well. Definitely have kept a spark about them keeping a positive attitude about things to come. When you or someone you know is in a situation where familiarity in any aspect of life, relationships, job, or just life overall is in need of a change, look to yourself and ask what needs to change. Drastic changes and distance have always given me a fresh perspective on what I have needed for clarity. Distance has given me the insight and independence to think for myself. Without realizing, it has given me the self reliance in order for me to stand on my own 2 feet. Creating distance from issues, people, projects incentivizes us to trust ourselves more and get us moving. Don’t worry about making it rain with cash day one, just get your head out of the clouds first. Bangov Actual, out.

Email me: info@ban-gov.com

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