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Battle Of The Sexes..Gentlemen We’re Losing

The battle of the sexes is in its 2nd phase and men are losing the war. I have constantly been told by women that men are not men anymore. Gentlemen, I get your argument, “well they wanted equality right?” That doesn’t mean you throw in the towel because a small group of women want one thing. Your intention was to listen to the news and neglect women who still like the tradition. What kind of small minded individual takes the mainstream news media as a way of life??? It is one perspective you monkey’s. Holding hands, holding doors open, holding her purse when she is trying to get situated. Dating is a hell of a time, don’t get me wrong. Women who don’t know what they want, no drive, no ambition for a better future. Not financially driven, or worse they want sexually what scares the Jesus right out of you religious ones. Ladies this goes for men too. These issues are not generalized to one side.. All this being said, it is hard for both men and women because fundamentally we do not communicate anymore. You’re stuck inside and lack the communicable skills to even approach a woman in a bar. Nightclubs are too loud for me, grocery store, I mean holly fuck just saying hi my name is… is enough to get you both nervous. Be polite, and if they say no, guess what around the corner is another one, around that corner is another corner, and inevitably you’ll find a parking lot of women. What blows me away is men are still stuck on the marriage and divorce scare. I’ll admit I am in that club. I want every man to look up the 7 different alternatives to marriage and choose one that best fits you. Till death do us part, fuuuuuck that shit. Literally anything can be legally entrusted to your spouse through an attorney. Also Gentlemen this is what I am being told by women, none of this is even me complaining, this is from the perspective of women ready for a man, but who have given up looking. They are perfectly happy, financially well off with their careers, raising children, big house and are KILLING IT. If this intimidates any guys out there, great!  You are not allowed to procreate. If this does not pertain to you, understand that marriage is not what it has been. Imagine a life where you don’t have to live with the women you’re married to. You want to fuck other people, be in an open marriage. Some of you would starve, but they have more incentive to learn other skills. Cooking, cleaning, dancing, how to dress, groom yourselves, and I know some of you have never felt a good shave, fresh suit, and even know what aftershave is and IT.IS.DISGUSTING…For men and women, to create a world for yourself is so easy nowadays. Do not look to those around you because you’ll just fall into the same traps they did. Married for the wrong reason, kids as an anchor for the marriage to work. Wanting more out of life you may have to be selfish, but in the end it saves both you and others heartache. Communication we have all heard is key to a great relationship. It is the most basic bitch answer on any show you watch. Morning show, daytime television, Dr. Phil, take your pick. What they don’t tell you is you should be in good Communication before you even get into something long term. Talk, listen, learn, grow, Bangov Actual, out!

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Be Your Own Example

I had sex, and I liked it…OK not really , kind of going through a dry spell, but if that doesn’t get your attention then what will right? Establish what really “motivates” you. When you look at your lives and think that they could be any other way. Really define who you are now and define who you choose to be in this world. It is one of your biggest freedoms looking at the life you have and the life that you want to live for the rest of it. Doesn’t matter how old you are and the younger you are the less excuse you have because you have so much life left to live and time is on your side. The older you are I don’t want to hear any shit from you either, you have all the experience that life had to offer and you tend to use it as a way of superiority. You may be thinking well this guy doesn’t know what he is talking about. Literally every generation we have had to right the wrongs that we have had to endure in the past. Anything you bitch about now you have been bitching about for years and have never been the one to change it. You don’t have the power, money, grew up in the right family, bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan. The less you tend to complain the more clear headed you are about making decisions for the better. I was once told by a gym teacher, ya, my mentors were pretty big back then. What he said was for some reason, “complaining never got anything done.” Now I may lose readers just off that alone, but just for a second, for the simplicity of that statement just know that I hate it as well. For how simple it is, just the most annoying words ever put together, it almost has a unscented, non flavored ice cream vibe to it. Like 2+2=4 No. Fucking. Shit. What is even worse is 13 years later I am bringing it up on my blog in trying to tell others that an age difference does not justify how you get to act, feel, or react to certain situations when they may be the very thing standing in the way of getting you to where you want to be. Bitch and complain all you like, scream in your pillow, punch your car, get into a fight with a bee hive. Whatever has been told you, that has made you think you are not good enough, or that you can’t be the person you aspire. Just know that they are wrong. They are on the wrong side of evolution to think that they get to decide what you are capable of. Whoever is still telling you these things, no matter the situation you need to get very far away from them. They are on their way down to rock bottom, and if you are in reach they will pull you down with them. Let’s try and be a good influence on people out there. Bangov actual, out..

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Get Comfortable With Doubt

Doubt: Feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.

 

This is a big one for me. For many of us this may determine whether you go left or right. Do you face your fears, or do you take a minute to just breathe. Take a min to realize you are afraid, and like a bath just soak in the ambiance that it gives off. Makes the room seem cloudy, like you don’t have all the answers you need, or that you think you need right now. It’s OK to feel this way and just know I am glad that you have felt it before. Like taking a cold shower you just have to let your body go through the sensations and be cold so that the body will go through. It’s natural cycle to warm up. Yes doubting yourself is part of the process of moving forward. You will doubt yourself every step of the way. It’s a fear tactic that others use against you when they want you to go a certain way. It is a tactic used by societal norms in order to control what we believe to be “normal.” I would advise always going against societal norms and change it to be for the better. As long as you don’t endanger others around you then all you are doing is disrupting a system that has been disrupted once before. Does not mean you’re a bad or mean person. Just means that people may not understand at first glance that you may want them to be a part of this with you in the event they may find their own pursuit along the way. Disruption breeds creativity, and leads people down paths they may not have intended to go down. Doubt to me is as a fly in the kitchen. It is annoying a few times until you finally have it pinned and kill it with a towel. Think of yourself as the solution and people will determine whether they want to follow or not. Biggest thing you can do is give people the choice and let them decide for themselves. Some will follow, some will be too afraid, just like you were so many times before. So decide now whether you will not be afraid this time, or next time. The choice is yours when you decide that you are worthy for better. Nobody else can make that decision for you, just as nobody else is to blame for the current state you are in. When you decide, because it is your decision to doubt. Take a moment, know that it will pass. Do not make decisions in times of doubt, do not choose to quit, do not choose to give up on what you have worked hard for because it will be there again and again. Day 1-infinity, so it is important for you to know since doubt is inevitable. Why wouldn’t success be the opposite? Go left and give into your fear, or go right and accept your passion for something. Again, you decide. Bangov Actual, out.

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Your Empire Is Waiting

My patience with customer service people has increased….OK only a little it, but at least I am not screaming by the end of a 15 min hold anymore. Which in my experience has been happening a lot throughout these last few months. Not only on the phone, but in ordering processing, and I am aware of hold times, shipping, delays of inventory stock. Just a few things that can make days turn into weeks, turn into months. It is quite exhausting when you have a dream. It just never seems fast enough for that dream to come true. This is when you begin to make excuses, and you have to be aware of what you are doing when impatience sets in. I don’t have enough money, don’t have time, don’t know the right people in order for this to work properly. Well you are going to have to roll with the punches in order to be able to get through certain aspects of your pursuit. I had a buddy of mine build a house and holy shit was that a process. Some may say, “well that is not the same thing I am going through, that does not help me with my problem.”  Lazy, lazy, lazy. I am not going to tell you every little aspect of what it takes for your dreams to come true because that is your dream not mine. It is your responsibility to know the ins and outs of what it takes to get to each level and beyond. Make every excuse you want, but until you just commit and keep going, no matter how slow or boring in the beginning it may be you will never be able to build momentum in order to make the changes you want to. Back to my story though, building the home was promised in 3-6 months, ended up taking 9 months. With the building itself, right before lumber prices had spiked, that was a set back for money to be asked for. Needing a shed to be built for the water pump because it could not be put underground. He built it himself just FYI. Then winter came and construction had to be halted due to snow. Not to mention all the permits that had to be signed before a well could be put in. I am not familiar with construction projects, but the fact that the state has control over that, BANGOV, but OK I have said my peace. The house ended up being built. With everything he and his wife could dream of for their 2 children on a plot of land to call your own. I am not saying your dreams have to be any certain size, shape, taste or fashion. What I will say is in the end committing to them and going through whatever hell need be to succeed will be worth it to say you did not just accept the life that you were born into. Do not care if you were born into a wealthy family either. They have problems, dreams and aspirations all their own so shut up about people having more money than you, better car, better house. They chased their dreams and are reaping the benefits of hard work and you deserve to do the same. Bangov Actual, out!

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It Comes From Within

Caught between a rock and a hard place. When schedules tend to build up and day becomes more and more busy, it’s almost like breathing through a straw. Swimming laps, and you are in between 2 brick walls. Any break in your form and you chip a nail, sprain your wrist or WORSE, can’t complete your flip turn…but I digress, those who are trying to make things work by filling your schedule are not doing it through keeping busy. Focusing your efforts is something I myself have struggled to do for a long time. Problem is I still continue to do it. I just want to do so many things in life, for many years I have tried to tackle different pursuits in order to make meaning out of life without really having one that I intend to focus on and really define it’s true worth or purpose for me to continue. I think I just answered your question of “what should I do then?” I’ll bet you already have had as few to maybe a million times in your head where you considered a pursuit in something, but just did not think it was worth your time or maybe was thinking “what if I fail?” Well newsflash you have already wasted enough time not following that in which you have been day dreaming about for years. At the end of your life will you be thinking of things you have wanted to pursue? Problem that people tend to have with the pursuit of happiness is the “pursuit” aspect. Pursuit as per the definition is the “action”, key word here, of following or pursuing someone or something. Pursuits are all we have to feel alive leading us down unknown or unexpected twists and turns. Choose one and go. When you choose to stop, that is your choice. Just do yourself a favor and do not stop because of fear or lack of motivation. Motivation which I have discussed before and yet has come up many more times because people think they have to be motivated in order to start moving. Motivation from this point on will no longer be something that I am in search of. From this day forward motivation will be created within. In the endless pursuit that is life, I will wake up, walk, talk, drink, eat sleep and even PISS motivation because it is something created within. This as well ties into your self reliance. The “need” for motivation should be developed from within. It is what is kicking and screaming at the door trying to get out. To rely on others for things you can produce yourself is like asking if you can have a cookie. “Are you still a child or are you an adult?” Think of rolling down a hill…just go with me ;on this, you’re at the top of the hill. When you’re at the top you get into a shopping cart and you have nobody else with you. You need to edge the cart near the slide and just jump in at the moment just before it leaves to gain speed. Just reading this far you probably have already said, “what about brakes?” What about this, what about that? You all already putting safety nets and things for you to ensure nothing bad happens. Just jump in and enjoy the ride, let go of the fear and know false senses of security are a killer of the human experience of adventure and what it means to know what you’re made of. Bangov Actual, out!

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Let’s Define Terms “Wisdom”

Wisdom: the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement; the quality of being wise.

Let us take into account that those of us that have ever asked another for advice, knowledge on something or “wisdom” of some sort, some may have taken it to heart. Some have taken it with a grain of salt. To have information is instant nowadays, so what we must be cautious of is how this information is interpreted by each individual. Us a population have it in us to tell someone something we know just because we know the particular fact or stat that was told to us. So what does this mean when trusting someone, knowing them long term or not. This is something that I have said before, when i mention it is in your best interest when getting the most out of life, to Dig, Dig, Dig. Dig for not only the facts or stats, but dig for the interpretation of who is telling you this information. Can be your husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, brother. Interesting enough wisdom is not defined by being right or wrong, it is the “quality” as stated in the definition, of being able to  share with others your experiences and knowledge on a particular subject. How do we with so much access to knowledge, so much access to other peoples opinions, “wisdom”, how do we funnel and focus on what we need to, to make sure we are being to true to who we are? I have stated this before, and anyone that has ever read a self help book has the same “wisdom” thrown at them that the people you surround yourself with are the average of what you will get out of life. Those who are stuck, those who are in what feels like a trap of your upbringing. Go for a walk, go for a drive, swim, get out of the bubble you are in for even a moment and know that when you feel that sense of relief, pressure off your chest, breath of fresh air, go back inside and trap yourself again. Go back and realize you have so much more control over your own environment and the “wisdom” that you surround yourself with. Do that a few times a week and your addiction to that freedom will start to feed your creativity for expanding what is possible. Your mind will begin to create different pathways that were once foreign to you. That is how you create your own world by getting out of the one you feel so stuck in right now. Your 9-5 you may not like, your relationship you can’t end because maybe the lease is not up for 6 more months, (which is a piss poor excuse if you ask me.) Try and maintain a level of integrity for yourself in order to break away from a world that you constantly escape through day dreaming of being somewhere else. Your only excuse is that you will not take the necessary steps in order to move forward with your life. Blame yourself and move forward..Bangov Actual, out!

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This May Be Hard To Hear

No one is going to save you. Self reliance is a key factor in the game of life and being in charge of those pursuits in which make you a happy person. Being able to push through pain. We have all heard these things. Many motivational speakers tell those they have will, or determination that they do not know. The difference that must be made is internally. Relying on others to tell you what you are worth is a great indicator that you do not have enough respect for yourself. So why should others hear what you have to say. I am not going to tell you that you have what it takes to do great things. I do not know you! If you think you do then guess what, you’re headed in the right direction. Has to come from you, that you are willing to go the extra mile and not be afraid of that which you dream of. Like a volume knob get everyone and everything around you turned way down so that you cannot hear them. Listen to what is going on inside you and only you. You may have someone on the inside screaming and you cannot hear them because you are too busy listening to the losers around you or those who pretend to know more than you. Take some time for yourself, I promise the more focused you become, the more you will enjoy being alone and listening to the voice of your own eagerness to strive for better. Better car, better house, better things for you and those around you. I won’t tell you your worth it, because if you have any fight in you then you’re already telling yourself. I am just here to tell you to start listening to what is inside. You may not recognize yourself at first, it’s been a while through the many years you have been listening to everyone else on how to do things. The great save for retirement and be scared of harsh spending. Stop telling yourself you cannot afford something, or you don’t have time for things because you know yourself deep down how much bullshit is really between your fiction and the reality of your situation and how it can be improved. Run, scream, kick, and fight your way out of your reality to create a new one for yourself. Life as you know it now is all a matter of your perspective and having the ability to change all comes down to a single choice to commit action into your daily routine. Once or twice a day, not sure how many steps you’re willing to take a day, I won’t decide that for you, but tell me about it if you would like and maybe I would like to incorporate these actions in my life. Bangov Actual, out

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