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Why Do We Cheat?

Why do we cheat? This may get “confrontational” but hey you come to me for this shit. Don’t like it, I hear Chicken Soup For The Soul is making a comeback. Why do we cheat is maybe not what we think it is. I can really only think of cheating as piss poor planning. I don’t mean getting away with it either. If you make a commitment to someone then it should be honored as your word should be something to value. In the case that you explain to someone you choose to be intimate with I can only think that there has to be a conversation about what each of you want. When it comes to sex, emotions rule the playing field. Say anything you want, tell someone in the most abrupt way that you like sex and your too young to stop at just one person for the rest of your life. I’m not saying to lie, I am not saying to be hurtful in the slightest. Will it hurt, of course, that is what relationships are about. Experiencing all emotions with another. Everyone I know has been hurt in some form or fashion by their significant other.

Does not mean that it is intentional for either party to be hurtful towards each other. In my opinion all of these things are what get lost, or not said in conversation. I have stated before, nobody has all the right words at the right time. What is not communicated can be the cause of someone’s pain. Even the slightest of misunderstandings, you have a guy that is shaking his head and a woman who Is choosing to sleep with the kids, instead of in the bed with you. I think men and women have been so ingrained with the idea that they must be in a relationship that they are scared to face the reality of what they want, what they desire, and what they would even like to experience from a multitude of people. S.E.X, the great equalizer in the bedroom. The Fully Semi Automatic Weapon of lust. The cause of laughs, cries, fights, and an exponential growth in population size. Sex can cover so many basis and I as your blogger am in hopes of covering them all so that we as a civilization can come to understand more and more about this 3 letter word that in my is so powerful I am surprised that the government has not found a way to tax every orgasm we have. Terrible imagery? You’re welcome.

Why is it we as a species have not expressed the idea that communicated our sexual desires and ambitions is OK? What is wrong with that? Of course let’s not be weird about it. If I am on a date I won’t be so forward as to say to a woman that I just want you to ride my face until geese fly south for the winter. Would some women be up for that? I have always been told it depends on how good looking he is and how he presents the proposition. Fair enough ladies. Understand this, hookers do exist and till the end of time their services will be needed for men and women. As well I am being told male escorts are on the rise( pun intended). So that being said, for those of us who cannot afford it, why are we so inclined to condemn a man or woman who wants promiscuity in their life. These may be people who have had bad sexual experiences and feel paying for a professional is the only way to break the anxiety of being intimate with another person. Or someone who is very career driven, and in no mood to waste time on someone who does not know how to satisfy needs. Why we cheat is the blatant disregard for our own feelings and thoughts on what we want our sex life to entail. Do not be afraid to discuss intentions with those you go on dates with. Don’t hide in the dark, don’t be judgemental of yourself for wanting to be with multiple partners.

You cannot tell me a man or woman has not thought of someone other than their spouse. For good reason is the lack of fear that person will leave you for someone else. Women spend outrageous amounts of money on themselves, ie.. makeup, clothes, shoes, plastic surgery. When a woman is willing to undergo surgery for a man, it is because of a little known fear that she has that if I don’t get these for him to play with then maybe he’ll play with someone else. Please understand I am not judging anyone who chooses to make adjustments to their body in order to boost self confidence. Your bodies, do what you will. I’ll admit if I see a brat doll, with double d’s and an ass that could have saved everyone on the Titanic, I get a chuckle out of it. Sexual frustration is a daunting thing to have to go to. If you are not getting enough from your partner and feel stuck because you already told them you were wanting to be exclusive because that is what you thought they wanted to hear. It is time to have another conversation. Don’t just run to the first waitress or bartender you find on a Friday night, RELAX, talk about it first. If they can’t understand that this is a real issue for you, then cheating is inevitable. Just talk with your partner, don’t be afraid of them saying no. Also divorce is a bitch, not saying I have experienced it, but I have had enough people in my life to be completely turned off by the institution that is marriage.

Also if I haven’t mentioned this before marriage is defined as: the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, as well union for more clarification is defined as: the action or fact of joining or being joined, especially in a political context. Of course as well I know can be defined as: a state of harmony or agreement. BUT..  I cannot ignore the fact that it is only made official through the state, and needing a license to say I love, cherish, or want to spend the rest of my life with them is just hysterical. Why not just spend the rest of your life with them and those who you apparently need approval from will just see that? Also I do own a site called Bangov, so ya. #bangov4life. So just remember that you are not the only one feeling this way, go into a relationship knowing each other’s intentions and do not be afraid to communicate how to go about it. That is why I say to email me. I do enjoy getting them, of course they are anonymous, and as always this is Bangov Actual, I live to serve. Bangov Actual, OUT!

Email Me: info@ban-gov.com Please email me through your own email. DO NOT go through the website, under construction, and my team is on it.

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Bottle Water For A Dollar

People still tend to surprise me, pay attention to those around you, no matter how small of an interaction is meant to happen, they may even inspire you. Can’t tell you how many times I have come from those I have gotten negative experiences from. Either rude, or just aggressive individuals. It is all just a rush of chemicals to the brain that may trigger different responses and give you new ideas. Positive interactions are great, but it is the negative ones that people tend to need help with. They either shut down, or don’t see a learning experience in the situation they are in just because they are mad, sad, frustrated. Still your responsibility as an adult to utilize every situation as a learning environment. People in my life, long term or short consistently give me a different insight into the world I live in. Giving me new ambition to see different parts of the world and gain an insight that may be lost on the majority of people that are not looking. We tend to confuse people as complicated. Societies are complex of course. We have seen what damage can be done just by simple misunderstandings. Only takes an individual to initiate a mob mentality. I hope to inspire people to take control of their own lives. It is how they react to a push back will define if they are to go the distance in order to make their lives worth something other than what has been deemed “right” or “normal.” Some are in it just to survive and I can’t blame them. It has been taught since the beginning of man, and I am not saying to go against that. I will say incorporate your dreams so that in the end you can say you flourished, not just existed. Of course even existence can be taken for granted. Breath, build, fuck, and fight all you wish. When that big ball of rock hurling towards us finally decimates, or when the sun blows up. what will be the next? Continue the same disputes that have occurred time and time again? Always was interesting to me how when you graduated high school there was an understanding that the past quarrels, or grudges that had kept two people apart were now laid to rest. So why don’t we have that now? After 30? Maybe 50? I mean grudges held for hundreds of years between groups of people, I mean hit the snooze button or wake me when you guys build a bridge and get the fuck over it. These continuous wars that never seem to end give me the impression that they need to continue in order for someone to keep getting paid? Government? Religious leaders? Who knows? Just know it is not a war I am interested in fighting. All this inspiration may or may not have come from a homeless guy wearing military camo, trying to sell me a bottle of water. Poetic, I know. Bangov Actual, out.

Email Me: Do not go through the site, under construction. Info@ban-gov.com

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Still Of The Water

Reflection of past blogs, always good to reflect on past blogs to see how you have changed. All this bullshit of people being ridiculed for things they said 10 years ago. How about we ask today what the person thinks of these same scenarios. Not as if I am going to be the one to care. Say anything you want to about any group of people. Does not bother me any. Even if they were talking about me, it still wouldn’t bother me. I’m always told by people saying I have to care about other people’s feelings. Why!!! Why Is my opinion of any importance to those I do not know or have never even met. Seems as if a part of society thinks anyone who does not agree with you is a racist, or evil, or ignorant. To reflect is to see what has been said and how your perspective has changed with age and more wisdom. It is OK, you may have said some crazy shit when you were younger. That is OK. May have offended people, but that is all subjective. Understand that what you are trying to bring to the table is that people are either too afraid they will be ridiculed. To reflect is defined as: think deeply or carefully about. Think of all that has been said without proper reflection. Can’t tell me anyone who has a following has not said some dumb shit and regretted it. Whether they choose to commit to what they have said is up to them. Maybe they are catering to a specific pressure of a specific audience. You know like politicians always do to get votes. You either stand by what you said or maybe you’ve seen a different side of things. What was said was said, and words are cheap. Your actions on those words will show your intent and that is what I really look at when judging others. Bangov Actual, out.

Side note: For the time being, emails on the Bangov Site will need to be done through your personal email. Please send all questions, comments, moans, groans, bitches and complaints to info@ban-gov.com.

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Who Doesn’t Value Good Sex?

What do I value? Can this just be a series of tangible things that are needed to fill a void in our lives. So what are we actually looking for when we say I value these things and I need these things in my life? The perception of value is that it gives us something more than the desired aspect of just what we see. When we see a watch, ring, necklace or something of a certain value that we have a history with, we immediately describe it as something of a sentimental value. So as these things I accumulate in my house become more and more a part of my life I perceive them as things of value. To value them I could say that I would need to utilize them everyday. My perceived value of something is that in which I get multiple uses out of. Tools, clothes, bed, maybe a beer opener. Computer, iPad, phone? When people break their phones, they can’t get to the store fast enough in order to get another one. The thought of missing out on a tweet, text, or the world around them is just utter chaos inside their head. Tangible things have different values for each individual that utilizes them. Value is defined as: the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. So what is important, useful, or of worth to you. Careful when you think of these things. When it comes to utility, usefulness, you may end up being better off not having something that you get many uses out of. You probably use your vacuum once a week. If you have pets, maybe 2 or 3 times a week. How much time is that to you to be doing something worth your time? Spending more time with family? Is time more important to you? Up to you. Would a house cleaner once or twice a month be worth more than you doing it yourself. I could sell everything I own besides my computer and truck and be completely content with just writing for a long time. Don’t think I’m crazy, I enjoy nice things as well. I say my tuck and computer, then I tend to think, welp I need clothes for a date, of course running shoes and clothes for the gym, tools to fix a light fixture. What makes me laugh is talking to women about how they dated a guy who never owned tools. When something broke in the house he would always have to call someone for even the smallest shit. Fixing light fixtures, light switch plates, or even just hanging a picture. They had said nothing made them dry up faster than a man who can’t use a drill or hammer. They got rid of the dating app and just started going to home depot looking for men. Hahaha, now gentleman I won’t tell you that you have to be a tool guy, so take that for what value it is to you. These things tend to creep up on us, so I personally try and simplify my life as much as possible. I hate clutter and I have a ton of hobbies. Hunting, fishing, scuba, carpentry, guns, blogging, hiking, my dog. So I minimize every so often to make sure I don’t have something taking time away from something that is more important to me.

 

Now those are tangible things, but what about things that you cannot put a price tag on? Time, family, Boots!!, just kidding, peace of mind, quiet, patience, independence, hugs, kisses, someone telling you you’re pretty, or handsome, or great in bed. This is Bangov, so good sex is just a spice of life. All of these things can be taken into consideration. All these things are very important, and in a way these are the ingredients for getting the most out of life in whatever hell you choose. If you want to be held more, if you want less noise, maybe you grew up in a busy city and before you take a chainsaw to Starbucks because they got your latte wrong I think it would be an enlightening change of pace for everyone to take a FUCKING MOMENT, to think about the things that they value in life and make them priority. Go around the table, and communicate that to the family, or if you live alone, don’t matter, write them down and make a plan of how these will be implemented in your life. Some of you fucks will make time for you to play video games, watch the football game. That’s fine, but for the other things that you may be lacking, just say hey maybe today I will sit in the closet where it is dark and quiet. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe you’ll grab your wife and kiss her, maybe she’ll want you right there on the rug. WHO KNOWS? If you value your alone time, maybe let the family know and you just have a beer or glass of wine in a room in the house. Cannot tell you how many times a drive at night when nobody is on the road has saved me from choking someone in line at the grocery store. What I value is: Loyalty, communication, deep breaths, condoms, peace of mind, good teachers, silence, work, music, independence, good sex, time, smiles, laughter, comedy, my health, blankets, and last but not least different perspectives. With all of these My life tends to be pretty fucking sweet with little twists and turns in between. What do you value? I value those who read this and actually want to improve their way of life. Bangov Actual, out.

Email Me: info@ban-gov.com

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Numb

Numb is a feeling we all know all too well. What’s weird is that we feel numb sometimes to keep us from feeling other things. Numb is defined as: deprived of the power of sensation. So maybe it is when we give up some powers that we feel most at peace. We have many forms of power, but also many ways we can feel numb. Numb to touch, emotion, action, even influence. We are free from emotion as a lack of needing emotion itself. A bottle of wine can do a lot of things. Can be a great night out, or in, due to the occasion of being by yourself or with a loved one. Alcohol itself has a presence in a room. When alcohol is present, it becomes about what was discussed over a bottle of McAllen, Pendleton, Pinot Noir. Memories are made when numb to the touch, we remember what we felt more when we are numb to the touch. We remember and express aspects of life that if in full control we wouldn’t think to express. Decompression of the human mind comes with therapy or means of alcohol that we express deep within. When we have only moments to reflect back on when telling our life story, touch seems to be a waste of time. To be numb we lose the flight response because we are numb, not worried about being shot, or stabbed, poked, prodded. We tend to forget that you don’t have to feel touch in order to feel pain. A broken heart happens from within, so we must think to ourselves for when numbness subsides that we still don’t have any open wounds. All it takes is another drink for the vicious cycle to start all over again. Numb is also defined as: deprived of feeling or responsiveness. When we are numb, in times of joy we are very active. Jumping running, hooting, hollering. As well when we are sad, we want to do anything to avoid the feeling that we are dealing with. When the numbness goes away we are faced with 2 realities. The fact that we ran away and the fact that drinking did nothing to solve it. The reality you have for yourself only changes when the pursuit of another is initiated. So don’t forget to be responsive, and act. Bangov Actual, out.

Email me: info@ban-gov.com

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Eye On The Ball

Eye on the ball, we are all so distracted with social media now, I’m guilty of this as well. As you look closer to what is being sold to you. Remember everything is a salesmanship, everything is being sold to you, even a like or a comment makes people money on Instagram now. So the time you have invested into someone else for the past hour has been great for them. Has it been mutually beneficial for you? Of course I am not saying that people don’t have beautiful pictures, and I am guilty of looking. Just sometimes I tell myself I have to not look at these sorts of things until night time. Maybe while a movie is in the background, looking for inspiration. I will find myself flipping through things and also have to tell myself NO. DO NOT GET ANOTHER HOBBY. Don’t just be doing these types of things because you’re bored. Sounds pretty lame and this is why people don’t always want to work on themselves or the project they intended to start years ago. I can think of a million reasons to not be typing or thinking where I want to travel. A million reasons to distract myself from doing what I need to be doing in order to get where I want to in life. I find myself feeling for the people trying to do the same thing in the picture. Are they really happy, or is this work to them? Is this them being happy, no idea what is going on behind the curtain. I tell myself, good for them, but what about me? It is OK to be selfish, so for me to be that way I minimize my time spent on things that are other people’s happiness and focus on my own. Looking at pictures constantly is not going to make the reality of it any more true than the couch you are on. People always tell me, I need this, it is going to help me, and they are on Instagram for 2 hours. Keep lying to yourself, you have done nothing for yourself, and it is not helping you to think what if, what if. You’re a dreamer and not a doer. Keep dreaming all you like but that is just you lying to yourself that you’re getting closer. Interesting enough, I can help with that. Instead of looking at multiple pictures. Choose 1. One picture of where you would like to go. Print it out, frame it if you would like. Put it on your wall and devise a plan in order to make it a reality. Then don’t look at any other picture. Just the one you printed out. Eye on the ball, keep that picture in sight before you go to bed and when you wake up. You now have affirmations you no longer have to write down. If a picture is worth a 1000 words then you have one right by your bed. See what it does to you. Don’t look at your phone in a million places you can never will because you won’t even choose one to go to and stick to it. One picture, just stare at it till you fall asleep. I know guys I am a lot of fun. I’m a dream killer because dreams are why so many of you are miserable. You have so many dreams and you never think you want to make them come true so that you get over the fact that dreams are just things you’re missing out on in life. So one picture, and nothing else until it is achieved. Scatterbrained with so many things you want to do and see, you’re not going to be able to do everything in life, so just pick a few that may make you content with the life you had. Eye on the ball. Bangov Actual, out.

 

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Emotions Will Slow You Down, Just Do

Emotions are very slow, we usually wait for when it feels right. What we forget is there is a warm up period to where when you go through with the first few reps, then pause. You realize, your body just needs a few reps to get into the groove of things. You never think about going to work, 9-5, sometimes 12 or 14 hours a day and thinking I need to warm up. You yell at yourself, you have to be there and this has to get done. Or you are fired, you get let go from the job and they find someone else. Has nothing to do if you can handle the job or not. You know you can do it because you’ve been doing it for 6 months or longer. What you are afraid of is when you are trying to create something for yourself, nobody is there to keep you accountable other than yourself. You won’t fire yourself even though you probably should. You’re not getting paid getting a business off the ground and you still think money should be the incentive for you to continue what YOU CREATED. You’re entitled and you just need to think everyday if I do it for 5 min, I’ll be warmed up to it and I’ll be able to push on for hours. Warm yourself up to what needs to get done today. Set goals if you’d like, it doesn’t really matter if you achieve them, you’re not going to fire yourself. The incentive should be that in 5 years you’re going to wish you worked hard the past 5 years and nobody will be to blame. Incentives are a great way to put a fire under your ass and get you moving. Motion creates motion so just start walking and just maybe you’ll start running. On a cellular level when cells begin to move, they start to create friction, friction means heat and heat means fire. Step by step, one foot in front of the other, whatever you have to tell yourself to get your fat, lazy, hangover of drugged up ass to get moving just know it starts with the warm up. Do push ups, go run, squat thrusts, SEX, incentive for you and your partner to get up, be a team in getting up and conquering the day. Bangov Actual, out.

Email me: info@ban-gov.com

Website: ban-gov.com