Tag: pain

Ask your partner the hard questions, talk about the difficult stuff. You know who takes out the trash, where the kids are going to school, what type of starch to use on the shirts. Nothing changes in the development between yourself and the development between you and your significant other. If it might be awkward, if it stirs the pot..ladies and gentlemen, STIR THAT FUCKING POT. The subtle conversations that may make both of you go on edge is not a bad thing. You train hard for something that you are trying to be proficient in. That means putting each other through hard situations or even just as simple as asking “honey, do you like it in the butt?” or Sweetheart, what about a 3 some?” It is all a matter of discussion. Fear is an incredible motivational tool. Just be sure not to make drastic changes that both of you are not on the same page. It is OK, talk with them about what it is that is your kink. Sex aside, but not for long, do either of you have a career change? Of course we all have responsibilities, kids, cars, house, bills, bills, bills, that’s a Destiny’s Child shout out. Gentlemen you’re under the impression that she loves and cherishes you for you, but momma don’t want no scrub. So be honest? Honest is defined as: free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere. Which of course is the societal norm, but as well be bold. Bold is defined as: (of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous. OR (of a person or manner) so confident as to suggest a lack of shame or modesty. Shame is hard to overcome, but if you want what you have to last, or at least if you want it to be something of great worth you are to be bold in how you treat each other. Slap each other on the ass, grab and kiss whenever you want, sneak in on them in the shower, and above all don’t be afraid of showing them any and all emotions that will bring you both together. Shame is defined as: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. This is a very open emotion that he or she may feel when discussing how your partner may want to be with you. So be understanding about what each other wants. Remember you’re both individuals, as wanting something sexually is the same as wanting oatmilk in thier coffee instead of regular milk. You make these adjustments even though they may make you feel uncomfortable at first, may just make you feel something else after the fact. Where you want to live, where you want to work, bills need to be paid, but as well seeing someone you love unhappy may not be worth that sports car or manicured grass. These I hope are all things that as couples can be discussed in order to rid yourself of your shame and invest in your individual pursuits. Bangov Actual, out.

When you’re in a daily rhythm for days it is easy to quit. The feeling of not going to the gym, taking vitamins, or even simply having sex is easy to not do anymore….OK maybe not sex, but this of all the things you have quit doing for some reason, or even no reason that you can think of. You just stopped brushing your teeth, shaving, combing your hair, wearing pants, eating healthy, saying goodnight, or I love you to someone. Very many things can be a part of your daily routine and some things you may pride yourself on. Like eating healthy or going to the gym. Just becomes a way of how you and other people view you, and what is important to you. Haha also a way that people can judge you as well. Fuck those people who judge others who have initiative. They are a dime a dozen and are just in the way. So don’t be afraid to schedule your routine. After a while you begin to be addicted with the results. Then without warning, something in your life comes up that throws you off a day. Could be anything, you had to work late for a big project. Life just crept up so you take a day off from doing your workout, or eating junk food. This happens, and it is important to know the effects it has on how we move forward. When you have been doing things everyday, and that one day throws us off just remember to be back on track tomorrow. Don’t overthink it, don’t haunt yourself with the repercussions. Unless you have a deadline that is the next day. Then just pick up where you left off. Endure and move forward with your pursuit. Just don’t be one of those people who as soon as one day is lost you stop doing all together. It’s almost as if you lose a part of yourself. You lose a part of your fuel that was keeping the flame within alive. You’re brainwashed. Brainwashed gets a negative stereotype by those who don’t believe in the same thing you do. This is a military veteran platform and cannot tell you how many times I have heard that in the military they brainwash you. NO FUCKING SHIT THEY DO. Brainwash is defined as: make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure. Systematic is defined as: done or acting according to a fixed plan or system; methodical. If this worries you, then create your own plan, be methodical in how you’re willing to live your life. You do know that the military is a volunteer program right? Men and women from all over who are willing to adopt a common ideology all for the purpose of being a part of something bigger than themselves. Whatever your opinions of the military in general, I could give a rats ass about it , I’m not a recruiter. My job is to encourage you as the individual to dig down within yourself and find what you are willing to brainwash yourself in order to be a part of or even create all on your own. I’ve brainwashed myself for years because I believe wholeheartedly in what I am trying to create. Best part about it is I need others in order for it to become as big as I dream it to be. Dream, dream, dream, fight, fight, fight yourself in order to brainwash yourself into believing what I always knew to be true. Everyone has a talent. So brainwash yourself into an everyday occurrence that you identify with. Are you the runner? How about yoga? Or maybe you’re the one who does a line of coke before your steaming hot shower, hahaha you fucking animal you. If that offends you then maybe politics isn’t for you. Bangov Actual, out.

Can never tell someone what to do for the rest of their life. All you can hope is they will push themselves in order to find it. What’s sad is the amount of people who are told what they need to do in order to find what they want, and they simply just nod or shake their head. I haven’t even given them a specific task. Or I give them one as an example and they just simply do not want to put in the work to be happy. I’m under the impression most people choose to be miserable, that is why when I see poor people telling rich people what to do with their money I laugh. It gets me every time I see people on TV. Don’t really watch much television but then again that’s usually what people are screaming about on the news. How the rich don’t help enough. Has nothing to do with those who are rich. Usually when you tell people get rich quick schemes they are super excited, but when they realize work is involved they realize it’s just not as quick as they want it to be. Or even if they hear from another that ” if you’re not happy then just quit.” Welp people it has nothing to do with even happiness. Happy is defined as: feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. What most are unaware of is another definition of happy is: fortunate and convenient. So when any slight deviation from what could be a disruption of someone’s entitlement, the inner bitch, moan and complaining comes out. People are happy in 2 situations. When they are given something as a present. It is an instant happy moment out of convenience that they did not have to buy or even think to get it. The other is at the end of hard work and seeing the finished project or even the aftermath of what their work has accomplished. Problem is those who don’t want to do the work in order to get to the happy place. They will be miserable or go do something of a lesser significance, like video games or watch TV in order to get some of the happy feeling in order to avoid what may be some version of work, or effort. You can either be miserable and choose to find the happy times in between, or you can be happy and the miserable times will find you. As always, it is your choices that lead you down the path you intend to go on. Bangov Actual, out.

We can only hope for the best of people. Yet we make laws out the ass telling us what to do based on the interpretations of others and how they see the world fit to be run. If only we had laws against drunk driving…oh wait, what about just speeding?…oh wait…OK but if only we had laws that would prevent us from being victims of theft, murder or even property rights violations…oh wait… false senses of security are all around you and have created this bubble of a safe space you call your world, or oyster, which simply put is: you are in a position to take the opportunities that life has to offer. Well no fucking shit, and I don’t care if you come from a poor background. The oppression’s you may be facing are just as easily harmful to your way of life as those who give into false senses of security. It’s all an illusion that this is what your life will be 100% or should be all the time. When you least expect it everything you’ve come to expect from society is shattered, and maybe now you begin to see the fabrication that has been your blindside. Transitional spaces are the most dangerous positions you put yourself in. From going to your car to work, and then back again. That is when criminals will attack. Your focus is you getting to your car or even getting to where the vehicle will take you. It is not in the safety of you getting to your vehicle. In transition, be aware of the things going on around you. You may miss something very important, something that could save your life. In my opinion looking both ways is not just about when crossing the street.

Be wary of those who act irrationally when their way of life is challenged. We’ve all seen the “triggered” or the “offended” bunch. Understand that reactions like this are not specific to any political group. It is solely based on the individual and how they react to each situation, or phrasing of a question or comment. Republicans, democrats are all in fear of intrusions into their way of life. Think of school children, and when standards of a classroom, or rules are enforced, or at least teachers try to, rebellion is inevitable.

Rebellious acts of paper airplanes, spit wads, and even the occasional outburst of anger in a classroom when a child deems a teacher is too weak and full of shit talking about how they may need this in the future. Well not much has changed since grade school. We all stare at our bosses, sizing them up and seeing if they are fit to lead. Instead of spit wads and paper airplanes, it’s a relaxed dress code and 15 smoke breaks a day. Rebellion is defined as: an act of violent or open resistance to an established government or ruler. OR : the action or process of resisting authority, control, or convention. Doesn’t have to be of government authority, but it is very simple that when someone’s way of life is inconvenienced by another or even imposed on, don’t care which side you’re on. I’ve seen both sides become erratic, violent, and emotionally “triggered.” I can only hope to surround myself with people who against even extreme stresses are able and willing to have a conversation in order to break through emotional barriers and speak as if they wanted a solution, not just wanted their way. As I have said in my previous blogs, when 2 opposing forces have their ways of life, and can no longer come to an understanding or resolution, then the only other alternative is war.

To avoid this you must verbalize what you want, whether it be against an opposing force, or even with your significant other. If the other is not OK with your way of life and is not willing to allow it to continue, then war is inevitable. War is defined as: a state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state. OR a state of competition, conflict, or hostility between different people or groups. The definition less heard about war is: a sustained effort to deal with or end a particular unpleasant or undesirable situation or condition. As individuals I can only hope that we all can sustain the fight within ourselves, to better ourselves, treat others with respect, and fight our own “triggers” with a simple conversation. Bangov Actual, out.

Think of working your 9 to 5. Now think of asking for a raise. Think of asking for that job that is one step above. If you’re afraid, just know you’re lying to yourself. You’re actually excited. Fear is defined as: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or threat. Of course I’m hoping nobody puts themselves at unnecessary risk, but I am saying to be able to distinguish different circumstances where fear and excitement can be misinterpreted. Excitement is defined as: something that arouses enthusiasm and eagerness; an exciting incident. With each incident occurring, or with each thought of how you intend to encourage growth or better your life you will run into these 2 emotions. As I like to play a red light, green light game. Red light if I’m doing something of unnecessary risk, like walking down a dark alley at night. If I am thinking of a career change and am worried of judgement or embarrassment for failing. That’s my green light, you will always have a negative side to anything you are excited to start. The journey of self improvement can only be forged by taking these necessary risks. What I find poetic. A Lilly among the thorns, dove among the Crows, is that risk is defined as: The possibility of suffering harm or loss; danger, BUT a synonym of risk is prospect. Prospect is defined as: the possibility or likelihood of some future event occurring. That being said, I tend to look at fear, risk, excitement as just emotions leading up to what will make you genuinely happy. Life is very dull without emotion. Without emotion it feels like an assembly line till the end of days. No escape, nothing to look forward to. So learn that your emotions, especially fear and excitement, are there to protect you from the laziness you may feel and give into while you watch the years of your life pass you by. Bangov Actual, out.

Choosing to be someone of a stressful presence is all on you. Cuss and scream all you want. You may even have people do what you wish out of fear. My question is, how does it work for something built to be long lasting? The foundation of those who want to work. Those who like coming to work. Also not saying you can’t push people to get the best out of them, but the relationships between employee and employer are that of an understanding through conversation or written word. Can’t tell you how many people have given me the decency speech. That they know the measure of a decent human being and what they should be getting from the employer. No conversation to be had, nothing in writing, no communication, just entitlement through frustration of the quality of the work environment. Water cooler is not cold enough (I Shit You Not) unfair pay, job security, no opportunity for advancement, incompetent managers. I love that one because I’ve never seen that person step up to try and be in a position of authority, they just like to bitch, moan and complain. ” Shut up Helen!” I can’t tell people how to run their businesses, or even treat their employees, but showing them they are the reason for your success, may just make them realize you rely on them, not the other way around. So what from an employer’s perspective do we need to understand. Don’t really care from an employee perspective because as an employee you have the freedom to move around and leave the job as you please. Also try playing the what if game with me as well. Saying I rely on this job to feed my family, THAT IS YOUR ISSUE,  this is Bangov, we don’t cater to those who’s only excuse is that they don’t have another stream of income. That is your choice to live that reality. You have options, you just are not looking for them and those who don’t do what it takes to make things work will suffer the most. No fault of anyone else, even though they may blame others. Your employer has taken out the loan, or risk in order to follow his pursuit. In that pursuit you have been given a job, you’re trusted with doing a job for an amount of pay. Ask all the questions you would like during the interview, opportunity for growth, turnover rate for the position, why did the last person leave, special skills that help aid in success. Ask them and then you will know if you’re cut out for the position. Most go after a 15% raise and they may suck at the job, no leadership or skills pertaining to the required field. You’re fat and lazy but you’re thinking more money will motivate you 6 months from now, IT WILL NOT. For employers, do what you can to make your employees comfortable, WITHOUT losing profits, you don’t need a safe space room, but maybe just things that keep them working longer. If they want to listen to music, let them. As long as it is not a distraction to the rest, your obligations are your own and employees who don’t feel a constant pressure of wrongdoing tend to stick around longer. Bangov Actual, out.