I have only thought of being a father a billion times. I choose to wait because I am not ready to give my attention to that. Also have not found the woman yet in order to make that work. I am assuming we still need 2 to tango or am I just an old man now? Have always had a huge admiration for fatherhood, motherhood as well but I am not a woman. Just the thought of having my own little me running around and the responsibilities of guiding him/her either which way. Sports, science, history, math. Where should his focus be? Do I go off how the economy is now, or what it may be in 20 years? Don’t want to try and predict the future, what if I am wrong? What does my wife want, it is her kid too, what does she see for our little one? Lots of questions, it is no wonder I haven’t wanted to have children, I could barely make any of these decisions for myself 10 years ago. Just wasn’t my perspective of life. I was too wild and crazy to focus on future me. I always had a vision of what I wanted or what I saw myself as. I think we all do, just don’t want to be wrong in my attempts. Haha which is hilarious because being wrong is exactly how I am able to write to you now. Taking the long way around just means I have done things out of focus that mean more to me than being the focus of all the attention. I like hunting, hiking, shooting and things that others may not see but are very special to me to get to experience. Which brings me to being a father, when I think of how I want to be if the time ever comes where I have a child. I want to not be so focused on their future that I forget to have one of my own. I am never going to be able to control all aspects of their life and I would hope that he/she would do what I did to find their own happiness. Control is not the method to my madness, but to guide and inspire and that has been my mission from the start. I want my children to experience the world for themselves, no safety nets, no false senses of security that get in the way of them getting all they can out of their experiences. This definitely hits home with me because it is such a big step. I would like to establish myself a little more and have a little more forethought in raising a child instead of just having one and it be like going through the motions. I suggest to everyone take a little time in adding more value to their lives. Quality vs quantity is a real thing and for me I just want my impressions on my children to mean something that will inspire them to be better than me, for the world around them. Bangov Actual, out.
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