When your passion is tested. Think of the millions of times when in your head you will tell yourself to quit. I used to play a game with myself and count the number of times I told myself to quit. I did it for a week. I quit over 300 times. When you’re constantly telling yourself to stop doing something, something is too hard, or this is not what I want to do. Usually the body follows the head anatomically. So therefore you just need to make the conscious decision to tell yourself the opposite. Nobody is holding you down, I hope, nobody is physically restraining you from succeeding. Of course everywhere you may look someone is telling you to go in a different direction but what you need to make as part of your daily routine among all the other things is telling yourself that you are your own person, and you have the confidence to do whatever you WANT TO DO. Not that you can do anything, that just confuses people. Understand the difference of what you have passion for, other than what you have seen on TV and just been motivated to do for a week. If you are truly passionate about something then nothing will stop you from attending in making yourself better. It will become easy and of course hard times will be mixed in but remember that it is all apart of the process of molding yourself and what you want to get out of each experience so maintaining that positive mental attitude will be the deciding factor on if you become one of the community or one of the best. Continue to encourage yourself, unless you can hire a coach, personal trainer, or someone just giving you compliments all day, still won’t matter until you tell yourself and do it so much that you start to believe it. Just has to be what you want. I have covered wants before and I can only hope that people continue to define what they want by what they are passionate about. The struggle is inside you so don’t play the blame game. Everything starts and ends with you and what you’re willing to tackle responsibility for. If your passion is key then turn it and go through the fucking door. Bangov Actual, out.
Confidence Is The Game
When money is the obligation then freedom becomes second. Obligation is defined as: an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment. I happened to know a little something about duty, commitment, and the legal binding of signing your name on the line for years of dedicated service to your country. The morality of that I will let you decide. Years of your life you are obligated to has a different feeling. Every day you get up not because you have ambition to get up. You do it out of a sense of duty to your promise you made. When the day comes that you have established your duty based on your moral obligations to what you have created. It will become a part of you. Doing it everyday, and you won’t have a day off because it will consume you. The days you had before seemed distant, unimportant and a place saver for what was going on inside you. Just takes time. Which again is why I write so many other blogs about saving time, not wasting it on people that haven’t found their own way of life. They don’t have their vision, direction, or they just don’t care to compete. Common misconception is that when the race is over,win or lose that it is over. You are done. Look at any star athlete, celebrity, Olympic champion. Once the race or game has been won to prove themselves they are still at a constant. Life doesn’t end when you win. Life ends when it ends. Even after they have proved themselves they continue on for the next challenge, adventure. Whether it be wealth, love, or another physical pursuit. There are those who don’t have enough confidence in themselves in order to make the decision to pursue something. Also be very aware CONFIDENCE IS THE GAME. Look at life as it is only the things you want to do. You’ll be amazed at what world you can create for yourself. We always look to people of fame and fortune and say those are things I cannot do. I am not interested in those things. THEN PICK SOMETHING YOU LIKE. Nobody daydreams of what they wish not to be. Granted they may have flashes or decisions in order to stay away from what they fear to become. Only you can make those choices for yourself. Pick and choose based on what manifests in your mind. Create, create, create, dig, dig, dig. Nothing I have not said before, but I will continue to say it to get it through your big heads. Also a big head can still be small minded so stay hungry in your pursuit of knowledge and always stay confident in your abilities. You may think you’re in last place right now, may be broke, hungry, tired. In the game of life, if you’re not moving forward, then get out of the way. Bangov Actual, out.
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Customer Service Is A Way Of Life
Customer service should be a class. No test, the only test is life. Seen some shit customer service in the past few weeks. See how you are with others, and let that transfer to your professional life, and see how far that gets you. Seen servers role their eyes for questions pertaining to their job. Gotten, just “I don’t know, and I don’t care attitude. Customer service has to be a priority when not only creating yourself, but a business, I myself have told a customer off but only when they are disrespectful. I do not mean they say anything demeaning, or they even insult you or your company, but at the point of threatening when they do not get what they want. Be mindful only in circumstances where there is threat of a physical altercation do you put your hands on someone. That goes for just life in general. That is one side of the spectrum. I am talking about keeping your cool when a customer is flat out screaming at you. To be put in these situations I want you to think to yourself, have I really done anything to upset this person. Of course not but always in the back of your mind I can probably do something to make them happy. Deescalating the situation before hand is all it takes when dealing with someone that is upset about how they feel they are being treated. Reassurance goes a long way, as well an explanation is always a way to get you talking and them to calm down. I know what you’re thinking, what if they insult you, they call you an idiot, they go after character, IT.DOES.NOT.MATTER. This can be utilized in a good way. Someone offended, or insulted you, understand if you’re working at a place where a manager is called that does not stand up for you, WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE. Company culture will define how you go about this, some cultures I’ve seen take it and it is not good for business. You cannot help everyone, and a company must be respectful of it’s employees. Of course unless that employee is in the wrong. Customer service is about giving the right impression even before the problem starts and a company that is able to fix a multitude of problems has a very strong history of repeat customers. Customer service takes away the customers notion that they are doing business with a company. You want it to be more personal, so make sure they know they are doing business with you. Sell yourself and the customer will develop a sense of trust in what you say. Which are very important to you especially if they work on commission. When people are treated In a certain way and shown a level of competence above others they are sure to return. Of course you will have bad days but just like anything else, it all is going to start with you and how you want to face the day. Can either be a good or bad day, choice is yours. BanGov Actual, out.
Define Your Wants In Life
When all is said and done thinking about WHAT YOU WANT is the most important thing. I mean what you really want. Not just what you saw in a movie and thought, huh, that would be cool. Something you may not even know that has been a dream of yours. You’ve been off and on between work and play and then the in between is something that has distracted you from even things you think you have wanted. It is the fuel that drives you to do things that see you differently. When you were a kid, you may have been called a show off. I was because I liked girls. Pushing myself was also an evolution of going for bigger and better challenges. First it is physical, then mental, then financial. When all those fade away you tend to do things because you think I am going to die one day and this is just what has been done from the beginning. You’re creating your inevitability before the world. The only thing you must do from then on is make it known to the world. Everyone is known for something. What do you want to be known for? This is how you focus and narrow your focus so that it becomes a part of your success. That is what people will know you for, you just need to believe that you can set yourself apart from it, even if you don’t believe, if you believe it long enough it will become a part of you. It will become your reality. So first, find who you are, second, ask, how do I become better? Back yourself into a corner so that you have no choice but to fight your way out. The further you continue to go towards what you want the more you don’t want to look back. Many roads will get you from a to b. Just don’t take too many roads that you end up going backwards. To want something, as desire is defined: strong, feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. With a feeling that has to be created we must want something for it to be felt. Love, as we have all felt, or at least the desire for someone. Makes me think, what kept her from me? what kept him from her? The desire was there for both, then the only thing that was missing as them forgetting to communicate how they felt about each other. When you want something or someone you can either think that they would be happier with or without you. You still have to make the call that you are going to communicate to them, regardless of how they feel that it is going to be communicated that you like them. Yes you may regret not saying anything, but then missed opportunity creates in your mind that you have to take any opportunity that comes your way. Becomes confusing because then your wants become little opportunities seized. You have no direction at that point, you’re just taking wild shots, which, in your younger years can be fun, and a great learning experience. As you get older, wanting to define yourself and what you are about becomes harder, or at least something that feels more rushed. In life, always make a quality product, especially when establishing yourself. You deserve it for the amount of work you’re about to put into it. Bangov, Actual, out!
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Give Up Control
What binds us to the life we are living now? Are we happy? Is that even a prerequisite anymore. To go through life does not have any means of a pursuit. You don’t have to have a college degree, certificate of achievement. Hell you don’t even need a participation trophy to get through it. Big misconception is that you need others’ approval for your life choices. I hope those of you over 30 would know this but in this day and age you just never know what people need to hear anymore. Don’t need your parents approval, your friends, you’re kidding if you think they know more than you. Release yourself from others expectations and create your own. I have some time on this earth and it has always made me wonder if right now, at this very moment am I in the right mind set. Do I have the right mentality to move forward? Unfortunately I have only a few moments where everything has been in sync. I guess I had it once, and now it is a distant memory. I will spend the rest of my life trying to get it back and make it as consistent as possible. The consistency we feel keeps us in motion towards our happiness. Ok maybe not happiness always. Even happiness can be faked. Progress cannot though. Happiness is what is shared between people. We’re social creatures. If you disagree, then I would like to know what your happiness is. Continue to build who you are, piece by piece, laugh by laugh, cry by cry. Those around you are not who you need to please. They are those who are looking for their own journey. Nobody really has time to control others. Usually those who try have no control over their own lives. So what does it really mean to be in control? Since by definition, control is to influence, or direct people’s behavior or the course of events. Of course it has a few others, just look ’em up, I’m not going to do everything, BUT let’s just focus on this one. Although I am the one writing these blogs in order to inspire people to take risks, and make something of their lives. Maybe I’m controlling. Eh fuck it, get out there and make something of yourselves. That’s me when I’m controlling. I push others to be something they are afraid of. So don’t fuck with me, or I’ll push you to do all the things your afraid of. You know, like aspire to be someone you dream of being, follow your passions, or even tell the world to go fu k themselves while you work on yourself and focus on your happiness. Don’t focus on control. Experiment, enjoy the embarrassment. Bangov Actual, out!
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What Men Really Want In Bed
Gentlemen, what gets you all riled up in bed? Seriously. Do we even know, why don’t we know these things. You know your favorite music but not what your lady can do to really turn you on. This is interesting to me because I have been an advocate for men and women to be comfortable exploring sexual acts in order to spice up the bedroom, or even being single you engage in actions that may just be of curiosity to you or someone else. Let me be clear in saying I am not against exploratory sex with someone you are not currently involved with romantically. Casual sex, sex between 3, DO.NOT.CARE. Do what makes your pickle tickle or flower power! I am a strong advocate for being professional, and would like to just mention those who do pay a lot of money for these fantasies to become a reality. We can all stop hiding from those who may not agree with you. If for religious reasons, societal norms, then it is simple that we just do not share these sides of ourselves with them. Some people may think if they won’t accept all sides of me then they don’t deserve me. I won’t be the one to say you are wrong, then again that is your choice who you let in your worlds and those should be people that encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Another side would say due to a societal norm these people who don’t agree may just be under the impression that you may get hurt and they are trying to protect you from that. So don’t always take oppositions as a negative or as a potentially controlling desire. They may just not want you to get hurt. Or hell maybe they are too afraid to say they feel the same way. So be open to talking about it if you’re open to sharing the thought with someone. Break down the psychology of it together with the why. You may just come to the same conclusion. This blog is not just what men may be thinking of about during sex, it may be women need to ask the question for men to feel comfortable answering. Ladies, just know that unless you have never asked, the man in your life has probably never been asked. Men usually talk about sex in bullet points. Went to dinner, drinks,back to my place, fucked. Then a high five with the guys. Ladies are way more expressive in how the night went. All starts with the ring of the door bell and they are telling friends, he came to the door to pick me up, brownie points, he opened the door, brownie points, got in the car, it was clean, smelled good, FUCKING BROWNIE POINTS. I won’t go through the entire date because you get the point. From the point of the act of having sex women are breaking down the five senses The better it was the more detail they will go into it. The worse it was they will be more like a guy and say ya, we fucked in his car, I did not cum. Then he drove me home. Very romantic, I know guys. Gentlemen just know this goes both ways. You have to be willing to initiate conversation as well, if you make an agreement, or have paid someone to have these specific fantasies come true then OK that transaction will be handled as business as usual, But, if you’re intimate with someone for a number of years, these questions just as what they aspire to be, hopes, dreams, aspirations. Why does it never include sexual fantasies?
What men want in bed is simple. The same thing women want. The chance to discuss options of sexual exploration without judgement. The conversation alone is liberating for the both of you, don’t care if you paid or not. Stop being afraid of asking these questions, literally the internet is filled with answers for you and another to explore til your heart’s content.
What? You guys think I would leave you without giving you a list? Come on, this is Bangov!
1-Play with his balls, (suck on them)
2-Finger in the ass, (it’s not for everyone)
3-Little spoon, (some are afraid it’s demeaning)
4-Be vocal on what feels good ladies/guys
5-Sex in a public place, you initiate it ladies
6-Ask to be on top of him
7-Make eye contact while he licks his lips and smiles.
8-Jump into another position without being asked.
9-When we are sucking on you ladies, say yes, no, left, down, right, up, what do you want?
10-Lights on
11-Don’t talk bad about your body
12-Find some clothes you may be OK ripping
13-Go shopping for lingerie together, big part of sex for men is visual, we like a lot of things leading up to the bedroom, like women do with foreplay to get you wet, we don’t get wet ladies we get hard.
14-Sucking on him may take a while, but in the end the commitment and the feeling after, he may return the favor immediately after. Like seriously you would think a refractory period was a myth when you suck him off.
15- Cum in your mouth, chest, stomach, the usual. (I’m not going to pretend to know the level of kink who reads this)
16- According to business insider 26.8 of males fantasized giving oral sex to a man
20.6 males fantasized about having sex with another man ( Who knew?)
source: https://www.businessinsider.com/normal-male-sexual-fantasies-2014-11?amp
17- Make a sex video (this I will say I would do again, will not post, don’t ask.)
18- 3 some, which I have researched, and what I have researched is men, if you’re willing to do it with a guy, she may be willing to do it with a woman.
19-Watching someone fuck your wife, Relax! Talk about it.
20, 4 some, can’t forget about my swingers, that is literally what an open marriage is for.
21- Sit and be naked together, explore each others bodies even before sex
22- Dance naked together
23-Slap his ass, and ladies, (yell yahoo!, yeehaa!, whoo!)
24-Laugh during, still talk and tell jokes.
25- Shower together before/after.
26- Watch porn together, watch something you’re both into, or take turns.
27- Experiment with different positions, see what you both like. Make a top 10.
28- Compliment each other on things you like, or find sexy, boobs, but, legs, arms, smile, hands,
29- Make a list of where you would like to have sex, schedule an airbnb, hotel stay.
30- Ladies what are you going to wear, outfits, star wars, cheer outfit, aeon flux, I mean hell if a woman walked up to me in a lady gaga outfit I’d probably say yes. I mean even Jabba the hutt I may give a try. Just as long as it is a costume. Hahahaha
31- Ladies, maybe we want to buy you something? Vibrators, dildos, clamps, whips, feathers, floggers, just to name a few.
32-Massage, my goodness gracious if you don’t know how, then YouTube, or Pornhub that shit and get your life together.
33- Tie you up?, ladies he may want full control to fuck you where he pleases and in all sorts of positions. Strongly advise doing this between those you trust or in a controlled and safe environment. Or at least a class to go over safety measures.
34- Bondassage? Look it up, light BDSM and sensual massage.
35- Make a playlist of sex music together. Different moods, create a few playlists and use one for maybe more romantic nights, quickies, maybe just home for lunch, more fun and have some time.
36- Cunnilingus,blow job, while sucking on different candies, fruits, after different drinks, light candles for different smells.
37-Sex toys, Just look up different things to kink up your bedroom. Adameve.com, lovehoney.com this one just makes me laugh, buy as many toys as you like and if you feel like you don’t use them as much, leaving a box at goodwill to me was one of the best reactions I have ever seen. Holy fuck I was dying laughing, or save some friends money and see if they want to give them a try. Just use some Clorox wipes ya bunch of nancy’s.
This list I hope this list helps some of you explore more of your sexual worlds within yourself and with your partner. I have heard way too many times men and woman experience sexual frustration and a feeling of being trapped in a reality where they cannot express themselves even privately with someone they are dating, married or just seeing for casual sex. After all sex is not just the act. It is a conversation I feel is only coming to the surface now after years of being taboo, and Bangov is here to set you free. Bangov Actual, out.
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Some Days Feel Like Mud
Some days feel like they don’t move at all. Almost like walking through Mud. Nothing is wrong but also nothing is moving or I don’t feel as if I am moving forward. Ami going backwards? I try to enjoy the moment, I try to look around, see the stars, and enjoy the cool breeze. Listen to my surroundings for signs that tomorrow will be different. Everything is still. Is this wrong? I feel as if I am not moving, I am dying. Then again we are all dying, but those who fear death and still stand still are very powerful to me. To be afraid of being still is to be afraid in itself. If we are always constantly moving it is as if we think we are trying to escape death. Escape all of our fears, and nightmares. Cannot run from them. It is ok to be still, hell I encourage it if it gives you some sort of relief. Don’t run from anything, you’ll be running forever. Challenge yourself, take a hit sometimes. Ever been hit in the face before? It is more liberating than you may think because now the fear has literally been beaten out of you. Take a deep breath. Take another one. Be in the moment you are in and notice things about yourself. Are you afraid? Why, nothing to be afraid of, or if there is then it means you’re running and you must start running towards fear. Or just stand still and let it come to you. Don’t waste your energy running from it, you’ll die tired. Instead plant your foot, and get ready to feel the force of it. You may just find what you’re looking for when it knocks the fear out of you and you’re ready to take on tomorrow. If the day is not over, then know today you can rest and play chess to be ready for your next 3 moves. Think, and enjoy your stillness. Keep calm and Bangov. Bangov Actual out.
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