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What Men Really Want In Bed

Gentlemen, what gets you all riled up in bed? Seriously. Do we even know, why don’t we know these things. You know your favorite music but not what your lady can do to really turn you on. This is interesting to me because I have been an advocate for men and women to be comfortable exploring sexual acts in order to spice up the bedroom, or even being single you engage in actions that may just be of curiosity to you or someone else. Let me be clear in saying I am not against exploratory sex with someone you are not currently involved with romantically. Casual sex, sex between 3, DO.NOT.CARE. Do what makes your pickle tickle or flower power! I am a strong advocate for being professional, and would like to just mention those who do pay a lot of money for these fantasies to become a reality. We can all stop hiding from those who may not agree with you. If for religious reasons, societal norms, then it is simple that we just do not share these sides of ourselves with them. Some people may think if they won’t accept all sides of me then they don’t deserve me. I won’t be the one to say you are wrong, then again that is your choice who you let in your worlds and those should be people that encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Another side would say due to a societal norm these people who don’t agree may just be under the impression that you may get hurt and they are trying to protect you from that. So don’t always take oppositions as a negative or as a potentially controlling desire. They may just not want you to get hurt. Or hell maybe they are too afraid to say they feel the same way. So be open to talking about it if you’re open to sharing the thought with someone. Break down the psychology of it together with the why. You may just come to the same conclusion. This blog is not just what men may be thinking of about during sex, it may be women need to ask the question for men to feel comfortable answering. Ladies, just know that unless you have never asked, the man in your life has probably never been asked. Men usually talk about sex in bullet points. Went to dinner, drinks,back to my place, fucked. Then a high five with the guys. Ladies are way more expressive in how the night went. All starts with the ring of the door bell and they are telling friends, he came to the door to pick me up, brownie points, he opened the door, brownie points, got in the car, it was clean, smelled good, FUCKING BROWNIE POINTS. I won’t go through the entire date because you get the point. From the point of the act of having sex women are breaking down the five senses The better it was the more detail they will go into it. The worse it was they will be more like a guy and say ya, we fucked in his car, I did not cum. Then he drove me home. Very romantic, I know guys. Gentlemen just know this goes both ways. You have to be willing to initiate conversation as well, if you make an agreement, or have paid someone to have these specific fantasies come true then OK that transaction will be handled as business as usual, But, if you’re intimate with someone for a number of years, these questions just as what they aspire to be, hopes, dreams, aspirations. Why does it never include sexual fantasies?

What men want in bed is simple. The same thing women want. The chance to discuss options of sexual exploration without judgement. The conversation alone is liberating for the both of you, don’t care if you paid or not. Stop being afraid of asking these questions, literally the internet is filled with answers for you and another to explore til your heart’s content.

 

What? You guys think I would leave you without giving you a list? Come on, this is Bangov!

 

1-Play with his balls, (suck on them)

2-Finger in the ass, (it’s not for everyone)

3-Little spoon, (some are afraid it’s demeaning)

4-Be vocal on what feels good ladies/guys

5-Sex in a public place, you initiate it ladies

6-Ask to be on top of him

7-Make eye contact while he licks his lips and smiles.

8-Jump into another position without being asked.

9-When we are sucking on you ladies, say yes, no, left, down, right, up, what do you want?

10-Lights on

11-Don’t talk bad about your body

12-Find some clothes you may be OK ripping

13-Go shopping for lingerie together, big part of sex for men is visual, we like a lot of things leading up to the bedroom, like women do with foreplay to get you wet, we don’t get wet ladies we get hard.

14-Sucking on him may take a while, but in the end the commitment and the feeling after, he may return the favor immediately after. Like seriously you would think a refractory period was a myth when you suck him off.

15- Cum in your mouth, chest, stomach, the usual. (I’m not going to pretend to know the level of kink who reads this)

16- According to business insider 26.8 of males fantasized giving oral sex to a man

20.6 males fantasized about having sex with another man ( Who knew?)

source: https://www.businessinsider.com/normal-male-sexual-fantasies-2014-11?amp

17- Make a sex video (this I will say I would do again, will not post, don’t ask.)

18- 3 some, which I have researched, and what I have researched is men, if you’re willing to do it with a guy, she may be willing to do it with a woman.

19-Watching someone fuck your wife, Relax! Talk about it.

20, 4 some, can’t forget about my swingers, that is literally what an open marriage is for.

21- Sit and be naked together, explore each others bodies even before sex

22- Dance naked together

23-Slap his ass, and ladies, (yell yahoo!, yeehaa!, whoo!)

24-Laugh during, still talk and tell jokes.

25- Shower together before/after.

26- Watch porn together, watch something you’re both into, or take turns.

27- Experiment with different positions, see what you both like. Make a top 10.

28- Compliment each other on things you like, or find sexy, boobs, but, legs, arms, smile, hands,

29- Make a list of where you would like to have sex, schedule an airbnb, hotel stay.

30- Ladies what are you going to wear, outfits, star wars, cheer outfit, aeon flux, I mean hell if a woman walked up to me in a lady gaga outfit I’d probably say yes. I mean even Jabba the hutt I may give a try. Just as long as it is a costume. Hahahaha

 

31- Ladies, maybe we want to buy you something? Vibrators, dildos, clamps, whips, feathers, floggers, just to name a few.

32-Massage, my goodness gracious if you don’t know how, then YouTube, or Pornhub that shit and get your life together.

33- Tie you up?, ladies he may want full control to fuck you where he pleases and in all sorts of positions. Strongly advise doing this between those you trust or in a controlled and safe environment. Or at least a class to go over safety measures.

34- Bondassage? Look it up, light BDSM and sensual massage.

35- Make a playlist of sex music together. Different moods, create a few playlists and use one for maybe more romantic nights, quickies, maybe just home for lunch, more fun and have some time.

36- Cunnilingus,blow job, while sucking on different candies, fruits, after different drinks, light candles for different smells.

37-Sex toys, Just look up different things to kink up your bedroom.  Adameve.com, lovehoney.com  this one just makes me laugh, buy as many toys as you like and if you feel like you don’t use them as much, leaving a box at goodwill to me was one of the best reactions I have ever seen. Holy fuck I was dying laughing, or save some friends money and see if they want to give them a try. Just use some Clorox wipes ya bunch of nancy’s.

 

This list I hope this list helps some of you explore more of your sexual worlds within yourself and with your partner. I have heard way too many times men and woman experience sexual frustration and a feeling of being trapped in a reality where they cannot express themselves even privately with someone they are dating, married or just seeing for casual sex. After all sex is not just the act. It is a conversation I feel is only coming to the surface now after years of being taboo, and Bangov is here to set you free. Bangov Actual, out.

info@ban-gov.com

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Why Is It Hard To Plan Dates?

What do I do with my spouse, uh make a list? Why is it so hard to do something with the people that we supposedly love? Want to spend the rest of your life with this person, or are we just dating “place holders?” Till you find the one that you’ve really been wanting to be with. The one you dream of. Love is a beautiful thing, but can distract you at times from the bigger picture. This is why people say love is not enough, because life doesn’t just end there when you find someone at 19. You have another part of you that is invested in a whole other ideology and self image of what could be. Just imagine if you had a little more confidence in yourself, really ask yourself would you be with the person that you are with right now? It is a delicate fabrication of what you’re willing to do and how far you are willing to push yourself. Sucks if they are nice people. You can’t help it, the fire inside you just needs to come out sometime. It either gets released or it dies. Then what is to become of you? Are you ready for it to be put to rest or are you young and feel too much pressure stuck in a life that you did not want but inevitably had to fall into to please those around you. It is hard to please everyone, so don’t. You can only go forward based on the vision you have in your head and taking steps to fill in blanks. Take a walk and ask is this present that you’re in what feels fulfilling. If so, then I have nothing more to say. If you want more, then you are going to have to disappoint everyone that has a different vision for your life. This is not just a couples thing either. Being single and picturing more than just the bullet points in life keeps you from getting stuck. Ask your significant other what they want to do Friday night. If he or she does not know, welp you now have free range to do whatever the fuck you want. Go bowling, go dancing, go make pottery. The fact of doing things that you don’t even like opens your world up to communication. Doing things you don’t like inevitably just enforces you will pay more attention to that special someone in your life. Talking with them or creating memories in my opinion are the time stamps of your relationship. If one or both parties is not interested in how to spend time with each other……..well you decide the ending of that story. The title is, “Why Is It Hard To Plan Dates.” Well that is because you are still dating the person even if you are married to them. Never really shifts into “look!, we made it.” You are going to have to date for as long as you are together, so make sure that someone is someone you will have the kind of fun you want with. If you want to snack, Netflix and chill, do that. Or if you choose to go out for a drink and let loose once a month, then great. Either way having 2 lists I think is great, big vacations and small dates to do once a week. Having a hard time making a list, holy fuck google you monkey. Tons of articles on what to do with your squeeze when you both want to be in or  out. Bangov Actual, out!

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Battle Of The Sexes..Gentlemen We’re Losing

The battle of the sexes is in its 2nd phase and men are losing the war. I have constantly been told by women that men are not men anymore. Gentlemen, I get your argument, “well they wanted equality right?” That doesn’t mean you throw in the towel because a small group of women want one thing. Your intention was to listen to the news and neglect women who still like the tradition. What kind of small minded individual takes the mainstream news media as a way of life??? It is one perspective you monkey’s. Holding hands, holding doors open, holding her purse when she is trying to get situated. Dating is a hell of a time, don’t get me wrong. Women who don’t know what they want, no drive, no ambition for a better future. Not financially driven, or worse they want sexually what scares the Jesus right out of you religious ones. Ladies this goes for men too. These issues are not generalized to one side.. All this being said, it is hard for both men and women because fundamentally we do not communicate anymore. You’re stuck inside and lack the communicable skills to even approach a woman in a bar. Nightclubs are too loud for me, grocery store, I mean holly fuck just saying hi my name is… is enough to get you both nervous. Be polite, and if they say no, guess what around the corner is another one, around that corner is another corner, and inevitably you’ll find a parking lot of women. What blows me away is men are still stuck on the marriage and divorce scare. I’ll admit I am in that club. I want every man to look up the 7 different alternatives to marriage and choose one that best fits you. Till death do us part, fuuuuuck that shit. Literally anything can be legally entrusted to your spouse through an attorney. Also Gentlemen this is what I am being told by women, none of this is even me complaining, this is from the perspective of women ready for a man, but who have given up looking. They are perfectly happy, financially well off with their careers, raising children, big house and are KILLING IT. If this intimidates any guys out there, great!  You are not allowed to procreate. If this does not pertain to you, understand that marriage is not what it has been. Imagine a life where you don’t have to live with the women you’re married to. You want to fuck other people, be in an open marriage. Some of you would starve, but they have more incentive to learn other skills. Cooking, cleaning, dancing, how to dress, groom yourselves, and I know some of you have never felt a good shave, fresh suit, and even know what aftershave is and IT.IS.DISGUSTING…For men and women, to create a world for yourself is so easy nowadays. Do not look to those around you because you’ll just fall into the same traps they did. Married for the wrong reason, kids as an anchor for the marriage to work. Wanting more out of life you may have to be selfish, but in the end it saves both you and others heartache. Communication we have all heard is key to a great relationship. It is the most basic bitch answer on any show you watch. Morning show, daytime television, Dr. Phil, take your pick. What they don’t tell you is you should be in good Communication before you even get into something long term. Talk, listen, learn, grow, Bangov Actual, out!

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Sex And Business

No this is not a sex contract being negotiated. I do enjoy details of how individuals get to the specific act, but understand when dating that to treat it like business in a way that it is worth your time and money. Someone who may see things as you do can really intensify the electricity between instead of just the act itself. If within 20 minutes things have not taken off into conversation that is organic then politely leave. You have no obligations to this person you just met and should not feel bullied into thinking other ewise. Not saying you have to make up an excuse because that is all they are. The real reason of this is just not working out is perfectly acceptable. Tell the waiter that you would like to enjoy your drinks for a little bit and just talk. Be flirty if you are, or don’t. When women mean to be genuine they do expect you to have a way of being tactful in how you carry yourself. You do not have to be rude, you just have to have the presence that your time is valuable and do not want to waste theirs. If things start to take off and you are going to be there for a while, order appetizers, order a meal, whatever. Now thinking of this while talking across a table of attorney’s, accountants, bankers. Conversation should have the same level of attitude. I don’t want to waste your time and certainly do not wish to waste mine. Someone in the end may still get fucked, so don’t expect me to tell you how to close every time. Read the vibe, especially if the date is going well then you have all the time in the world to plan your next move. I understand the nerves and skills will come with time, but while developing them have fun. Also don’t give me the “what if I am Married?” Any chance your wife would like to go out for a night? Probably wouldn’t mind being spoiled for a night. I myself am not married but for the divorced women I have gone on dates with they have told me in the end the guy just gave up. Ladies!, moans, groans, bitches complaints, I am more than happy to funnel frustrations through my blog in order to reach those who may need a quick reminder of throw her on the bed, or when we have a babysitter, it is game time. You’re words ladies not mine. Positive outlooks on dates, as well as business is just one way to have the right mindset going forward, as always do your due diligence not to be cat fished, be present and take an interest in the situation you have both created, but in the end respect that someone has taken the time in order to get to know you and see what you’re about. Bangov, actual, out.

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Deadlines Are Such A Beautiful Thing

Putting a time stamp on things, has to be one of the best tools I have ever used. As well just fun in general to see how much can be done in a given time. Stop thinking of them as a way for your boss to yell at you and use them to accomplish things in your own life. Can be small of course, maybe get the house cleaned in a matter of a certain time and what is not cleaned in 30 minutes leave for tomorrow. God forbid you haven’t cleaned out the shower, it will get dirty again I promise you that. Just an example but this is utilizing time for you to do what you are passionate about and forget about the little things which in time you could hire someone else to do for you. Also stop bleaching every little thing ya fucking psycho. Put a deadline on projects for you to get things done for your own business that your boss does not know about. Hell I did it for years, and sometimes you just have to be selfish for yourself. Also what i mean by that is always be selfish for you, always look out for number one. Always see losers say they want to help people but never really have the ability to instill change over a given issue they care about. Deadline sections of success and see how far you come in a given year. Bangov Actual, out.

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When Did We Stop Dreaming?

This may seem redundant, and what a lot of people have said, but that does not make it false. Bangov was created with the intention of you as the individual coming into focus on what drives you as a life pursuit. Don’t think you have to have the answer now. I have many things I would love to do as a life pursuit, but you must do one first, before you can do the others. Don’t do all at once, pick one and push forward with it and see how it tends to build on itself. Worst feeling in the world is feeling like you are putting 10-12 hour days and not going anywhere. I am a true believer that money is a state of mind, and perception is reality, so take the time since you’re not doing anything else, to really focus and understand what gets your blood boiling. Focus on a want, even a small one and figure out what it takes to get it. Put your mind to it and think of possibilities that are beyond your normal. Everyone could spend a little more time dreaming. Bangov Actual, out.

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Stop Asking Teachers How To Be Electricians

When you want to learn something, what is the best way to go about it? Do you ask a teacher how to be an electrician? No you would ask an electrician. Interesting enough when a person wants to be something outside of themselves they tend to ask the wrong people the right questions. Leading them to be frustrated in to thinking that whatever they are passionate about is too hard, or with no direction they quit. Why is it the bigger things we want for ourselves the less we are willing to try, but only what we see to be attainable by someone else in our particular circle of friends, acquaintances, or even parents are all we strive for? If you enjoy the life that your parents were able to have that is fine, great even because you have someone you’re able to talk to that will help you get to that. What about those of us who had single mothers, or fathers, working multiple jobs to make ends meet. This is not a boo hoo moment, it is the reality of someone saying they want more than what their parents had. What is interesting is they think college is the way to go. Not saying don’t go, if you need to go to college then go be a doctor or lawyer. Why is college the standard for steps to take in order to do what you need to do to get where you want to be in life. Are we just seeing this and accepting it as the norm or do we actually know that college will get us there. Why do we ask teachers how to do specific things when it is not their profession. Make sure who you ask to teach you has done what you want to be doing. Do not ask someone because they have the mentality of I am older, I am wiser. Ask those who know what you want to know and know it more than they do in order to become a part of the game.

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