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If You Don’t Laugh, You’re Dead Inside

As I have observed, we as people, maybe not you, but if the shoe fits. I have observed that we all look to find those of a certain “emotional intelligence.” Emotional intelligence is defined as: is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Key concept here, in my opinion, is that the management of emotions in a positive way. This I think is overlooked when observing our partners in different situations. Whether it be, an argument between another, or even how they react to a situation towards you. Actions are key indicators that we all tend to give off, like it or not, you can catch whether someone is the right fit for you in an instant. Daniel Goleman, (American Psychologist) popularized Emotional Intelligence with these 5 key elements-Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy, Social skills. Can only wonder how many relationships have ended off one night of drinking and you find your sugarplum doing a keg stand when you have been 5 years sober or never got into the drinking game. What is your emotional intelligence on that Danny!!! Sounds like Danny, so I ran with it. Or my favorite, you find out that he or she is cheating on you and you NEVER SAW IT COMING. Sure he has to work late 3 days a week. Sure she has been going out more than usual and that new boob job she is keeping from you is still healing after 6 months. In any sense, remember no matter what the situation, the dependency on your emotional intelligence is how you react to situations. Remember in a positive way, don’t buy that double barrel, or single action revolver just yet. Remember you ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. Writing to all of you I can only hope you choose to look at pain, lies and suffering in a way that really is better for you and your future. Emotional intelligence to me is an understanding between two individuals, based on the conversation and understandings they have presented to one another. Don’t care how long you both have been together, you’re individuals as much as your souls became one when you got married, or even if you’re still dating just remember it is called a soul mate, not a soul mending person. Hahaha ,and with a divorce rate 50% you better believe it is entirely possible that you have some more life to live before you find your someone special. Just look up any article and you will find out that the average age for marriage has been increased to 30s, and probably for a good reason considering half my High School Senior class was snatched up and divorced before 26. So who knew you might want to do stupid shit or fuck around just a little longer before you got married, had kids, bought a house and realized you were stuck. Not saying having a family is not a beautiful thing. When you didn’t want it that soon and think of what could have been for the next 10 years into your 30’s. Beautiful may not be the word you use right then. If currently in this predicament, well what’s great about today’s topic, makes things into positives. I will say having kids move out or go to college, and you’re not even 50 yet, sounds DOPE! Hell you can still get divorced, agree WE MADE IT, and just part ways amicably and go fuck around with 30 year olds. What? This is Bangov, not some Christian Blog Bullshit. I am getting side tracked though. Emotional intelligence, like regular intelligence, has to be developed over time and taught. The one you’re with is teaching you how to be with them and vice versa. Once you tend to enjoy each other’s company, everything will fall into place and you can start to check off those 5 elements I mentioned. That’s my 2 cents. Bangov Actual, out!

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Write Yourself Down

Isn’t it funny when people think you are weird, different, on a different level maybe? That from what I have come to realize is really just in response to the amount of time you have spent alone. Could be doing anything, thinking to yourself about what you like to do. Could be when you were a teenager, you liked being in your room, drawing things on your notebook, and reading books you may have kept from others to see. Truth is the intricacies that go unnoticed about yourself are those things that I would like people to take time in getting to discover about themselves. Always fascinates me about others when asking them questions about themselves, and I have mentioned this before but, stil i run into people every day who choose to research, or google celebrities. Height, age, career, status, relationships. They love to get into the nitty gritty of people but never about themselves. Favorite foods, favorite, music, future goals, ambitions. Back to my point though. When asking people, these could be friends or family, things about themselves they tend to either not know, take a minute to answer, or what I think is cool, is to have a memory that is connected to why they like a certain thing. That’s great! Your fascination with others who have what you want may just mean you’re finding out things about yourself that need to be written down. Write down who you are, may not even believe what you read the first time. You don’t have to be famous, or be a CEO to feel it is important what you are writing down about yourself. It’s who you are and having the confidence to say that you are important to yourself is a great step in establishing what you want for yourself because you deserve it if you are willing to work hard for it. Write down who you are so you can study and analyze where you may need to make improvements, it is your list, so only you can make the changes. Direct yourself to be the individual you want to be. Bangov Actual, out.

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Debt

If you’re in debt CONGRATULATIONS, you know how to buy shit. You’ve successfully been able to establish needs and wants and be able to distinguish whether they are worth your time and effort. OR you went to Vegas. Not everything stays in Vegas and debt is not one of those things. Regardless of how you got into the situation. Christmas shopping, trip to Paris, I.DO.NOT.CARE. What I want to know is how hard are you willing to work to pay it off. As well, do you have any plans for different avenues of income to have it paid off?…crickets, ya I am aware you see the huge balance of thousands of dollars staring at you in the face. Just one of those things that doesn’t seem like it will ever go away. One thing that always gets rid of debt is time. The problem with that is people tend to only rely on their one stream of income coming from their 9-5 and don’t care to think about ways they could tackle that debt. Thing about debt is that when it seems impossible to pay it off, it is because you have not taken any action towards paying it off. You just keep staring at it, when one weekend job could relieve you of a thousand dollars. I wouldn’t be surprised if things in your home could be sold in order to pay off half of it but you neglect to take action in taking steps to pay it off. Of course maybe mowing some lawns, working some extra shifts, bar tending, whatever your skills right now allow you to do. I know these seem small but creating avenues in your mind start with exhausting your resources of skills you have. From there you have to think bigger. You have to think, instead of 10 dollars an hour, how do I make a 1000 dollars a day? To scale yourself is to take on bigger challenges in life to where your debt seems small. Debt won’t kill you, debts are a product of your own control and lifestyle changes. Debt is how people get rich, not saying you have to take on mass amounts, but don’t look at debt as it makes you someone not worthy of great things. It is because of debt that you must think bigger in order to buy things now with the confidence that you will always be able to pay them off because you have set yourself up for success and have a product or service that will always take care of your lifestyle. When it becomes someone else’s money that now you’re in their debt. You better believe that you are going to find a way to make that money back. Someone handing you a dream, it is your job, no more 9-5, you will be thinking about it 24/7 365. Time is all you need to conquer your debt. So utilize it well, and be creative and have fun paying off the things you enjoy. Bangov Actual, out.

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Momentum Is Who You Lose And Gain

Gaining Momentum in order to see a work in progress. Is that what we are all looking for? Is it the old seeing,Is believing. Well for that you must put pen to paper. You must have the action of putting one foot in front of the other to see how far you have gone. Paint a wall and know that you’re that much closer to finishing the room. Run a mile and know you’re that much closer to 2 miles. You get the point. Momentum is going to feel like pushing a train. Super hard to get going, but just know it comes from day to day struggles over time creating motion. Will not happen in one day, and will not happen if you are not consistent. Consistent is defined: acting or done in the same way over time. Knowing time is your obstacle, then you are the only thing that needs to get moving. Whatever presents itself as a result of that you should learn to be proud, and create the momentum you wish to chase. Don’t allow those who are stuck to determine your motion. Life tends to be suited to those who are in constant motion. Does not mean you have to leave those you love behind, just means they are not always there with you every step of the way. Ride the wave, see how far you go and as always it is your choice when deciding to settle down. To me momentum comes in two types. The momentum you create in your life based on the work you put into the foundation. This being, research done beforehand, pre-workout for all you gym rats. Or the popular “leg work.” We tend to forget when we are riding the wave, or so coked out on pre-workout, our relationships between those around us that can keep our momentum going. We have spent all this time trying to get the people holding us back out of our life. Those who put us down, who shame us for wanting more when they complain about not having enough. Really upsetting as well when they are the ones who need more help than you because you have the confidence to finally break away from the world you have felt trapped in for what seems like a lifetime. DON’T. YOU. FRET! It is all about to be different, it just starts with your decisions to make it better. Despite your emotional state, push through in knowing you’re getting closer to the light.

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Come On We’re Both Naked Here

Come on man we’re both naked here. You’re never really in control. Can be taken from you at any second. Kind of exciting right? Are most of you still stuck on the first sentence? That is OK because it is where this blog really takes place and in spite of my of how people feel of showering at the gym, it is full of emotions that i see as a necessity for those who lack confidence. If you have seen the movie Crazy Stupid Love then you may remember the conversation between Steve Carell and Ryan gosling in the men’s locker room when Ryan goslings character is testing Steve’s character by having his dick in his face. Not saying the class is for everyone but it does help in a sense depict the issue that men. No matter how old, men have a problem, or insecurity with another man naked in the same room. Why is it that? Is it because we are afraid of being gay? Maybe we might get a little nub and be “confused” all of a sudden. Insecurities about our own body? I find it odd that men have such an awkwardness leading up to later years about being naked in a gym locker room, where frankly you’re supposed to be naked. I’m not saying walk through town guys, but at least take some time to gather up some confidence about who you are as a man. Ladies just know I don’t go walking into the ladies locker room all the time so for me to comment on such a thing, or leave your perspective out of this is not intentional, I just don’t have the perspective of being in a room full of naked women and asking how they feel about it. Being in a place such as the locker room is really a testament to men and just how insecure they can be. The lack of confidence, or thinking that they have to be impressive towards other men, of course in a non sexual way. To most men, life is competition, sports, work, money, status. Constantly in the ring and trying to fight our ways to the top. The comment I made earlier, “Come on man we’re both naked here, what is really going on?” Was an encounter I had with an elderly gentleman in the gym after my morning workout. He had just wrapped a towel around his arm and was headed to the showers. Coming to the door which separates shower room from the lockers, he seems to have a fit and starts questioning me, “why do they prop open this door?” I myself have just dropped my towel and this conversation was taking place. I thought clearly this guy is having a bad day, this cannot be what he is really upset about. I shout out “Come on man, we’re both naked here, what’s really going on?” He must have been hard of hearing, because I said it a few times, and never got a response, or he just didn’t know how to reply. In that event he takes the trash can propping open the door and throws it against the sinks. As he proceeds to the showers, 10 people coming to and from the showers open that door and smack into the trash can. So I myself being the antagonist put the trash can back, propping the door open, grab my bag and leave. Some people just have no control in their lives and will do anything throughout the day to feel some sort of it. Control yourself, and the direction you are going. Everyone else is not worth your time. Bangov Actual, out.

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So Many Keys To Success, Get In The Fucking Door

When your passion is tested. Think of the millions of times when in your head you will tell yourself to quit. I used to play a game with myself and count the number of times I told myself to quit. I did it for a week. I quit over 300 times. When you’re constantly telling yourself to stop doing something, something is too hard, or this is not what I want to do. Usually the body follows the head anatomically. So therefore you just need to make the conscious decision to tell yourself the opposite. Nobody is holding you down, I hope, nobody is physically restraining you from succeeding. Of course everywhere you may look someone is telling you to go in a different direction but what you need to make as part of your daily routine among all the other things is telling yourself that you are your own person, and you have the confidence to do whatever you WANT TO DO. Not that you can do anything, that just confuses people. Understand the difference of what you have passion for, other than what you have seen on TV and just been motivated to do for a week. If you are truly passionate about something then nothing will stop you from attending in making yourself better. It will become easy and of course hard times will be mixed in but remember that it is all apart of the process of molding yourself and what you want to get out of each experience so maintaining that positive mental attitude will be the deciding factor on if you become one of the community or one of the best. Continue to encourage yourself, unless you can hire a coach, personal trainer, or someone just giving you compliments all day, still won’t matter until you tell yourself and do it so much that you start to believe it. Just has to be what you want. I have covered wants before and I can only hope that people continue to define what they want by what they are passionate about. The struggle is inside you so don’t play the blame game. Everything starts and ends with you and what you’re willing to tackle responsibility for. If your passion is key then turn it and go through the fucking door. Bangov Actual, out.

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Confidence Is The Game

When money is the obligation then freedom becomes second. Obligation is defined as: an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment. I happened to know a little something about duty, commitment, and the legal binding of signing your name on the line for years of dedicated service to your country. The morality of that I will let you decide. Years of your life you are obligated to has a different feeling. Every day you get up not because you have ambition to get up. You do it out of a sense of duty to your promise you made. When the day comes that you have established your duty based on your moral obligations to what you have created. It will become a part of you. Doing it everyday, and you won’t have a day off because it will consume you. The days you had before seemed distant, unimportant and a place saver for what was going on inside you. Just takes time. Which again is why I write so many other blogs about saving time, not wasting it on people that haven’t found their own way of life. They don’t have their vision, direction, or they just don’t care to compete. Common misconception is that when the race is over,win or lose that it is over. You are done. Look at any star athlete, celebrity, Olympic champion. Once the race or game has been won to prove themselves they are still at a constant. Life doesn’t end when you win. Life ends when it ends. Even after they have proved themselves they continue on for the next challenge, adventure. Whether it be wealth, love, or another physical pursuit. There are those who don’t have enough confidence in themselves in order to make the decision to pursue something. Also be very aware CONFIDENCE IS THE GAME. Look at life as it is only the things you want to do. You’ll be amazed at what world you can create for yourself. We always look to people of fame and fortune and say those are things I cannot do. I am not interested in those things. THEN PICK SOMETHING YOU LIKE. Nobody daydreams of what they wish not to be. Granted they may have flashes or decisions in order to stay away from what they fear to become. Only you can make those choices for yourself. Pick and choose based on what manifests in your mind. Create, create, create, dig, dig, dig. Nothing I have not said before, but I will continue to say it to get it through your big heads. Also a big head can still be small minded so stay hungry in your pursuit of knowledge and always stay confident in your abilities. You may think you’re in last place right now, may be broke, hungry, tired. In the game of life, if you’re not moving forward, then get out of the way. Bangov Actual, out.

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